Traditions for You and Your Son

Traditions for You and Your Son
Most moms have, at one time or another, seen their friends doing something with or for their sons which has caused them to wish they had time to do something similar. For example, I have a friend who writes her son a letter on his birthday every year. She tells him what milestones he has achieved, how he has changed, and how proud she is of him. She doesn’t give them to her son (they are all written in the same notebook), but plans to hold on to them until he is old enough to appreciate them.

I will confess to having looked at her notes and found myself wanting. Perhaps because I had many children close together, I didn’t initiate any traditions when my sons were born. As time has passed, I have found perfectionism to be my stumbling point. Because I never feel that I have enough time to do something exactly correctly, I end up doing nothing at all. Here are several traditions you can begin with or for your son today! Don’t let your past inability either to conceive or to stick with something make you continue to let time pass without sharing with your son how special he is to you.

1. Write notes to your son as specified above. They don’t have to be composed yearly, and they don’t have to be well-thought out. Instead, every time you have a thought you want to preserve for him, write it down. Whether it is an observation or advice about his first heartbreak, a reflection on what a good brother he is, or just how glad you are to be his mother, don’t waste the opportunity to let him know. Save the notebook until he’s older, or give it to him every so often. It’s up to you.

2. If writing is not your strong suit, try taking pictures of your son while he is asleep. From the time he is a baby, through toddler-hood, and, yes, even when he is a teenager, just step into his room long enough to snap an unposed, unrehearsed photo of him asleep. Your son may never fully appreciate such a montage, but his wife will surely treasure it.

3. Schedule regular outings with your son. Don’t just stop in for ice cream while you are out doing errands; make it a point to plan such an outing with your son. Sometimes the best times for such outings are when your son is making you especially crazy. Getting out of your normal environment can be so good for both of you!

4. Hug and kiss your son every night. Whether he is two or 18, maintain this nightly ritual. It can be very casual, but the predictability of knowing that the two of you will have this moment to connect can be very good for both of you. Sometimes it seems to me that this moment is the only peaceful one that I have with my son all day!

There you have it: a few things that you can turn into instant tradtions with your son. You don’t have to do them perfectly. You don’t have to make a big deal of them. Try at least one of them today, though, and you’re not likely to regret it.

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This content was written by Laura Delgado, Ph.D.. If you wish to use this content in any manner, you need written permission. Contact Laura Delgado, Ph.D. for details.