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Loneliness and ADD
What is a newborn baby to its family? How do they see the child? Children are seen through the lens of love. As tiny adventure kids, their exploits are shared with family and friends. A childís family sees him as a unique blend of traits to be enjoyed and treasured. As the child grows, their temperament becomes more evident. About that time, we point their little feet toward the world, and they go to preschool, motherís-day-out, and visiting with peers.
In the world outside of the home, parents and other family members start noticing that their child is different from their same-age peers. They do the same things as peers, but to a different degree. They make more faces and silly noises. These kids find different ways to solve problems. Their play patterns are unique. All kids run around, but the child with Attention Deficit Disorder will run longer and more wildly. Their maturation seems poles apart from their same-age peers. Adults notice, and so do other kids. Going into the elementary school setting usually accentuates these dissimilarities in social maturity.
In addition to impulsivity and hyperactivity, sitting in school all day puts some kids on the path to inattentiveness. Their class work doesnít get done, and then they lose recess. The kids with ADD/ADHD are set further apart from their peers. By third grade, many kids with Attention Deficit Disorder feel like they are sitting on the sidelines of life and they battle loneliness on a daily basis. Some find a few good friends, and the natural creativity and problem solving skills of the kid with ADD finds a way to connect to others in their peer group. However, for too many kids, loneliness becomes a pervasive part of their lives.
Some people do grow out of Attention Deficit Disorder, or maybe it is just a matter of the person with ADD/ADHD using an abundance of coping skills very effectively. Other people continue the loneliness battle into adulthood. Should they just give up and live a life of seclusion? What can a person do to fight the feelings of isolation?
Each of us has interests that bring us great joy and fulfillment. Building on these interests is an effective way to move from being alone to enjoying the company of others. The local community college or parks and recreation department often has classes and meetings that center around personal development. There are many class choices.
If you enjoy movies, join a group that meets to go to the movies together. Go to the community college for one of their movie nights and find like-minded adults. Do you like to draw or paint? Find a class. Often craft stores offer classes in everything from painting to beading to scrapbooking.
Are you a person who enjoys a workout? Join a hiking or camping club. Sign up for a gym membership or take martial arts classes. For socialization, there is nothing quite like Capoeira. This playful martial art form blends acrobatic stunts, music, dancing, singing, and martial arts. Finding a good Capoeira class is like finding a huge group of friends that you never knew that you had. Plus, you get some exposure to the Portuguese language and Brazilian culture.
The best advice that you can get is to find something that you are passionate about, then, find a group that shares your interests. Give finding your place within the circle a bit of time. Know that anytime you are trying to join a group, things might take a while before you become a part of the group. After a reasonable amount of time (and only you can decide what that is) if you have not connected, find another group.
Even within groups of people who enjoy the same things, diverse groups are not the same. Groups have personalities, too. The group dynamics of one bunch of people might suit you, while another crowd might not. Seek out caring people who enjoy life. Look for people who are inclusive, rather than exclusive. When like-minded people who share interests come together, others who share the same leisure pursuits are often welcomed.
Content copyright © 2013 by Connie Mistler Davidson. All rights reserved.
This content was written by Connie Mistler Davidson. If you wish to use this content in any manner, you need written permission. Contact Connie Mistler Davidson for details.
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