Guest Author - Marie Stroughter

In this day and age, respect and manners have fallen by the wayside in pursuit of higher academic standards and materialism. We emphasize athletic ability and good grades, and reward such with more “stuff.” What about basic common courtesies?

My oldest son has been involved with robotics competitions for the past three years or so. For the last year, these classes have been held in my home. This current semester has been the most difficult one, not because the class has climbed a ladder on the rung and are competing at a higher level (though this is true), but because most of the children in the class lack basic common courtesy.

The children routinely stand on our sofa, climb on chairs, and leave the bathroom a mess. One child even put a candy wrapper in our toilet bowl!

As a woman and mother, I don’t want to give my sons the impression that a woman’s job is to clean up after them! I want them to be active participants in the maintenance of their home – something I hope they will carry with them when they leave my home.

It’s more than just teaching our children to be “good guests” and how to act in someone else’s home. We must instill respect in our children, so that they will make appropriate choices wherever they are. This skill will serve them well in years to come, just as much, if not more than academics and athleticism.

In our Western culture, we want to compete in the open marketplace, so we emphasize grades. We think boys should be involved in sports, so we tout athletics – and often overlook sportsmanship. How do these pursuits serve our sons? Without teaching courtesy, respect and sportsmanship – important social skills – we’ve only done half of our job!

We must teach our sons:

Manners: Saying, “please,” “thank you” and “yes” (not “yeah”) are important. When our children receive a compliment, they should be taught to acknowledge it, and thank the person bestowing it.

Respect for property: Our sons must learn to respect their own property and the property of others. They should be taught to care for their toys, rooms, clothing and other items. When in the homes of others, at school or in a store (or other venue), they should be taught the same care and respect for items there, as they would in their own homes.

Yes, boys are wired differently and do a lot of “roughhousing” but they does not, and should not, mean they cannot be required to be gentlemen as well.