Guest Author - Cheryl Lewis

When we send our little boys and girls off to school for the first time we experience a whole gamut of emotions. After school has been in session for a few weeks and the mid-term point approaches it's not at all unusual for Kindergarten or Preschool teachers to want to schedule a conference with parents.

If you get "the note" that the teacher would like for you to come in for a conference, don't panic. Some teachers will send individual notes for every child in the classroom, especially with the youngest of school children. Set your date and time and do your very best to show up without complications.

Make sure that you go into this conference with an open mind. As moms and dads we all believe that our kids are really well behaved and wouldn't even think of giving the teacher a hard time. Now the truth of the matter is that some children really are that way (bless their hearts!) but some kids are not perfect angels. Some children get caught up in the excitement of school and having peers to pal around with and chat with. Some kids get nervous in certain situations and have more trouble controlling their impulses. Then of course, there really are children who positively terrorize a classroom and everyone in it.

Parents, we know this! We just don't want the little whipper snapper who sends the teacher running for the Tylenol to be our child.

And bingo! We now have the very reason for the absolute necessity of an open mind.

It's rare that you have a teacher who is "out to get" your kid, "just doesn't like little Johnny" or is "jealous of little Jill's pretty hair and clothes". (Umm...yes, I've really heard these remarks, although the names have been changed to protect the innocent.) It can happen, but in my combined 15 years so far, with each of my children in a classroom, it has only TRULY happened once. Most teachers are there because they've felt a 'calling' to be a teacher, especially a Kindergarten or Preschool Teacher. It takes true dedication and love of children to do that job. They have a sincere desire for not only your child, but every child in their classroom, to succeed.

So if you go into your first teacher conference and everything is wonderful, hunky-dory, and spectacular, give your baby a big ol' hug and be happy!

If, on the other hand, there are concerns, be willing to listen and really hear what the teacher is saying. Ask questions without any hint of attitude or anger. Once the initial questions are out of the way ask what the plan is for correcting the problem. Write the plan down in front of the teacher or ask her to provide you a written copy. Follow-up regularly with the teacher to check the progress of the plan and see what areas of improvement there are or what still needs to be worked on.

Above and beyond anything else, whether the problem is talking out, acting up, not paying attention, not completing work or even panic, anxiety and tears, you and the teacher need to be a team. You need to work together to provide whatever your child needs to achieve the best possible outcome and move on to the next grade.

You are your child's advocate but the teacher is your ally.