Guest Author - Sadiyya Patel
If you are hitting a lull in your love life, maybe this article will do you some good. Do not panic. Do not rush and get a divorce. A lot of people feel the same way you do. When you were first married you were chasing goals:
*Find a mate.Check.
*Pursue mate until he or she gives in and goes on date. Check.
*Try to impress them and get them into the bedroom. Check. *Propose. Check.
Death do us part. Huh? This is much harder than most people expect! So, how do you re-spark a marriage?
The thrill of the chase and having someone to grow old with sounds sweet until you actually find yourself growing old. Then their idiosyncrasies start to eat at you. He cannot even dress himself. She can't seem to cope with day to day dramas without getting emotional. Over time these small things can eat at you until you feel as if you are only married because the other person depends on you completely.
But was it always like that? Was he always hopeless, or she hopelessly emotional? Most likely the answer is yes. Why did your feelings about this change? Try this little experiment to find out. Pull out a notepad when you get a few minutes alone, and write down two columns on it. One for the things that you liked the most about your spouse while you courted them. The other use for the things that really drive you crazy. It may help to cover one list while you work on the other. When you get done compare.
Notice the similarities between the lists? Everyone gets tired of something they do constantly because they are made to do it. Doing stuff together that is fun and pointless can revive that spark you felt. It does not have to be expensive. It can be anything that you both enjoy that you rarely do. Monopoly is cheap, and you can do it over and over again. Just spending the time together with no goal insight can make you grow closer.
Or, start a silly collection that you can keep up together. Collect foil from bubble gum wrappers. Wad them up and see what picture you see in them. Anything you can do out of the ordinary will break up the monotony you have come to know and may help you to save a marriage.
Basically you may have forgotten what it was like to just be together being silly. You marry the ones who you feel you can be yourself with, and over the course of the marriage you become more like the other person. It's not a bad thing. This meshing creates ties that can hold through anything as long as you take time to remember what the differences you had were, and how much you still admire the qualities of your spouse.
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