Faith, Hope & Fibro - Using the Dark Night of the Soul to Light Your Way
Since I’ve gotten sick, I have to say that my faith has taken a huge hit. I grew up Catholic. I went to Catholic school from kindergarten to the 12th grade. I went to church at least once a week until I was 21. I did it because I enjoyed Church. I got something out of it. I even contemplated being a nun; I’d rather have been a priest, but let’s not get into that debate.
My faith sustained me through a lot of difficult times. I studied ecclesiastical (big word for church) history at Tufts University. I was wondering if I should go to Divinity School; or, at least get my Ph.D. and teach. I haven’t done that – yet. I still haven’t ruled it out.
Life being what it is – well, let’s just say that things happened between 21 and the age of 28 – that caused me to question my faith. It’s not that I never questioned it before, but I abandoned the Catholicism of my upbringing at this time and have not decided if I’ll ever return to it even now.
When I first got sick with Fibro, I was so mad at God. Why was I suffering? It’s not about God. I’ve seen sites about Fibro where people call it a ‘punishment from God’ and that the cure is a ‘spiritual solution’. Well, they said that about AIDS, too. God does NOT punish people through illness. Illnesses occur due to imbalances in the body. They are not supernaturally given to us.
That’s not to say that Fibro doesn’t have its spiritual lessons. Fibro has made me kinder, gentler and more understanding of not only my own limitations but those of other people. Fibro has helped shape me into a more compassionate, caring and loving person. Fibro has taught me that I must meditate, I need to pray every day and that I have to tap into universal love no matter what I decide to call it.
Fibro has helped shape my tolerance and my resolve. It has taught me about the deepest of sufferings and given me respect for those dark nights of the soul. It has made me calmer and restored my faith in God. It has given me hope of something outside of myself, largely because of the strength I’ve found through the fibro community. It has reminded me that I am not alone. No one is. It has honestly given me many things besides pain, anxiety and fatigue. It has given me priorities; my life meaning and my soul some peace.
I know this may sound crazy, but it’s all true. Through Fibro I’ve reclaimed some faith. It’s a stronger, adult faith, one that requires that I constantly seek, constantly pray and remain vigilant. It asks a lot of me but it’s so dear to me that I will give anything to maintain it.
So, I wonder – if you flip the switch and ask what has fibro given you from a positive perspective, what would you find? I bet you’d be surprised.
My faith sustained me through a lot of difficult times. I studied ecclesiastical (big word for church) history at Tufts University. I was wondering if I should go to Divinity School; or, at least get my Ph.D. and teach. I haven’t done that – yet. I still haven’t ruled it out.
Life being what it is – well, let’s just say that things happened between 21 and the age of 28 – that caused me to question my faith. It’s not that I never questioned it before, but I abandoned the Catholicism of my upbringing at this time and have not decided if I’ll ever return to it even now.
When I first got sick with Fibro, I was so mad at God. Why was I suffering? It’s not about God. I’ve seen sites about Fibro where people call it a ‘punishment from God’ and that the cure is a ‘spiritual solution’. Well, they said that about AIDS, too. God does NOT punish people through illness. Illnesses occur due to imbalances in the body. They are not supernaturally given to us.
That’s not to say that Fibro doesn’t have its spiritual lessons. Fibro has made me kinder, gentler and more understanding of not only my own limitations but those of other people. Fibro has helped shape me into a more compassionate, caring and loving person. Fibro has taught me that I must meditate, I need to pray every day and that I have to tap into universal love no matter what I decide to call it.
Fibro has helped shape my tolerance and my resolve. It has taught me about the deepest of sufferings and given me respect for those dark nights of the soul. It has made me calmer and restored my faith in God. It has given me hope of something outside of myself, largely because of the strength I’ve found through the fibro community. It has reminded me that I am not alone. No one is. It has honestly given me many things besides pain, anxiety and fatigue. It has given me priorities; my life meaning and my soul some peace.
I know this may sound crazy, but it’s all true. Through Fibro I’ve reclaimed some faith. It’s a stronger, adult faith, one that requires that I constantly seek, constantly pray and remain vigilant. It asks a lot of me but it’s so dear to me that I will give anything to maintain it.
So, I wonder – if you flip the switch and ask what has fibro given you from a positive perspective, what would you find? I bet you’d be surprised.
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