Politically Incorrect Beer Titles - Beer Fox Guide
Brewers of world-class craft beer are marvelously creative people. Their personalities blend the methodical mindset of a Louis Pasteur with the magical mystery of a Harry Potter. Add the artistry of Pieter Breughal, and there is no limit to the infinity of brews that may flow from their casks and barrels.
Such creativity is compounded by the complexity of descriptive language, one that peppers the golden elixir with images of flavor, color, smoothness and power. Each beer belongs in a class by itself, while being part of a defined style within a hugely innovative society. These creations often gain an extra jolt of prominence by virtue of their politically incorrect names. Just a touch of trenchant satire or a dusting of comical humor!
One word may be the potion that cuts to the chase, while a descriptive phrase may both offend and endear a brew to a whole crowd of beer enthusiasts.
For your pleasure -
Beer Fox Guide to Politically Incorrect Beer Titles:
Venom – DuClaw Brewing Company, Abingdon, Maryland, USA –American Style Pale Ale - Brilliant topaz lights dance within the glass beneath white rings of head and delicate lacing. This aggressively hopped potion is infused with the citrus, pine and floral flavors of Cascade and Columbus hops, while a muscle of malt balances the saddle.
Epidurale – Goose Island, Chicago, Illinois, USA – American Barleywine – The passion of a ruby reflects in this deep red elixir with minimal head. Rich caramel sweetness is accented with flavors of black currants, honey, orange peel and citrus in a sherry-like complexity, while the hypnotic pleasures of alcohol drift lazily around your head.
Insanity – Weyerbacher Brewing Company, Easton, Pennsylvania, USA – American Barleywine – Misty copper orange with thin, off-white head fills the nose with bourboned-oak, sweet vanilla, cherries and caramel. The tongue experiences a flavor explosion between the sweetness of cherry, accented with candied citrus peel and bourbon, and the bitter profile of grapefruit. Superb!
Hedonism – Legacy Brewing Company, Reading, Pennsylvania, USA – American Amber/Red Ale – Reflective bright ruby gem with tight, creamy head greets your nose with the aroma of delicate floral hops and sweet, toffee malt. This is a fitting name for the seductive characteristics of caramel that create artistic harmony with the pine, citrus and wildflower profile that lingers in the back room.
Slobberknocker – Capitol City Brewing Company, Downtown D.C. and Capitol Hill, District of Columbia, USA – American Barleywine – Your eyes are greeted by a nearly opaque burnt sienna body with a head of delicate eggshell that quickly dissipates to a scant ring with a web of light lacing. Pineapple and mandarin orange marmalade are enmeshed in cedar, toffee and grapefruit, with a peppery bite of alcohol and hops. Aggressive…sinful…passionate!
Opium – Coniston Brewing Company Ltd., Coniston, Cumbria, UK – English Bitter – Warm brown amber with a misty haze hails you with spicy, light hops and clean, biscuity malt. A generous basket of dried fruit seems to greet your taste buds, while chewy malts fill your mouth with unending pleasure.
Aphrodesiale – Brick House Brewing, Patchogue, New York, USA – American Pale Ale – The hazy, amber glow of a soft sunset over the ocean, topped with cask-like carbonation and white head, is the immediate eye-candy that sucks you into submission to this APA. Doughy malts of fresh-baked bread light up with a delicate wafting of alcohol.
Berserk – Viking Brewing Company, Dallas, Wisconsin, USA –American Barleywine – Opaque ebony body with magical ruby edging is topped with a dense tawny head that has enormous staying power. The malty profile is accented by the flavors of rum-soaked raisins, plum pudding, molasses and anise. The milky body slithers down your throat with silken delicacy.
Fuel – Capitol City Brewing Company, Baltimore, Maryland, USA – Russian Imperial Stout – Deep midnight sucks the light out of all that enters its secret room, even casting a burnt umber glow upon its thick head and long lacing. This black hole beckons you into its caverns of roasted barley, coffee and light chocolate, while tantalizing alcohol sucks you deeper into its grasp. Pleasures of coffee bitterness linger at the finish.
Kwak – Brouwerij Bosteels, Buggenhout, Belgium – Belgian Strong Pale Ale – Deep ruby amber with whispers of brown around the edges and a tight creamy head puts on a display of elegance for the sense of sight. Complexity of sweet nuts and candied sugar, dressed with fruit, draws you into its caressing arms with a powerful, warming effect.
Kiltlifter – Pumphouse Brewery, Longmont, Colorado, USA – Scottish Ale – Deep amber glows from within the glass, topped by an ample white head that dissipates to a thin ring. Caramel and fruit slide past your tongue like liquid satin, leaving you in an aura of mild alcohol afterglow.
Bare Ass Blonde – DuClaw Brewing Company, Abingdon, Maryland, USA – American Blonde Ale – Light highlights of gold flicker beneath a thin white head. Light fruit blends with a straw-like maltiness, feathered with light touches of hops. Crisp and clean profile makes this a highly drinkable potion.
Ex Wife Bitter Blonde – Freeport Brewing Company, Freeport, Maine, USA – American Blonde Ale – Spectacular strawberry blonde color with a ½” layer of ocean foam. A sweet, malty nose greets you with hints of lemony citrus. Fresh bread touches the tongue, while succulent lemon and sour apricots clean the palate.
Spank Me Baby Barleywine – Tyranena Brewing Company, Lake Mills, Wisconsin, USA – American Barleywine – Crimson hued rust with sunlight-touched beige head leaves rings and a patchwork quilt of lacing on the walls of the glass. Aromas are of hard candy, burnt toffee and pine forest. Complex fruit flavors form the base – orange, honeydew, cherry and pineapple – while candied-toffee hues are drenched in vanilla bean and mountain spruce.
Legless Knight – Felster Brewery & Felstead Vineyard, Dunmow, Essex, UK – Russian Imperial Stout – Muddy black midnight opacity pedestals a dark tan head, while aromas of charred-smoke and sweet malt rise to your nasal passages. A flavor profile of palatable yeast and overripe plums roll into the smoked malt with the delicate smoothness of a peach’s skin.
Dead Guy – Rogue Ales Brewery/Brewers on the Bay, Newport, Oregon, USA – Maibock/Helles Bock – Red-tinted gold - like a fired-up kiln - hides behind smoken-mist with an ample tan head. A Saaz hop aroma rises up through the nose of honey, dates and roasted almonds. The taste buds are tantalized by flavors of prune, melon and berries, while balanced by an enticingly bitter Saaz hoppiness that remains smooth on the palate.
Vuuve XXxXX – McKenzie Brew House, Glen Mills, Pennsylvania, USA – American Double IPA – A blaze of autumnal orange shines radiant beneath a dense head of wilting white foam. Whiffs of lime and grapefruit pulp drift over smooth, exotic spices and pine. On the tongue, the grated citrus peel continues into a soft explosion of velvety flower pollen and coniferous forest, with a solid bitterness that is satinesque and satisfying for the extreme hophead.
He’ Brew Miraculous Jewbelation – Schmaltz Brewing Company, San Francisco, California, USA – American Porter – Stygian hues with thick Bain de Soliel-tanned head carry a rich malt on the front lines. Flavors of dark chocolate and French-roast coffee follow roasted malts. Although caressed by eight different hops, bitterness remains subtle beneath the rich and robust malt backbone.
Naked Fish – DuClaw Brewing Company, Abingdon, Maryland, USA – Chocolate Raspberry Stout – Polished mahogany with glowing edges and tightly-creamed tan head ride an espresso-train to your olfactory senses. This raspberry tart lady titillates your palate with gourmet cocoa and roasted malt, as she spreads her cappuccino bitterness across your tongue like a fleece blanket. Lingering dryness adds to the drinkability of this naked wonder.
Young’s Dirty Dicks – Young’s & Company’s Brewery PLC, London, England, UK – English Dark Mild Ale – Ruby crimson shines with thin frothy head and thickened rings of lace. Malty flavors, with mild nuttiness, make this a refreshing and pleasant session beer.
All Fuggled Up – General Lafayette Inn & Brewery, Lafayette Hill, Pennsylvania, USA – American Amber/Red Ale – As the summer sun rises in the Eastern sky it glows cloudy-red with thick billows of thunderheads above – such is the beautiful glow of this seductive elixir. Full aromas of Fuggles hops carry earthy and floral notes across a foundation of sweet caramel. The palate fills with the sweetness of bread and toffee, touched with a magic wand of earthy Fuggles – leafy, grassy and floral.
Ol’ Dread – Three Floyds Brewing LLC, Munster, Indiana, USA– American Double IPA – Hazy, deep copper-kettle hues with thin head encircle your senses with temptations of pine cone, vanilla and bourbon. As this addictive potion slinks from the shining crystal glass onto your awaiting palate, a creamy smoothness releases an orgasm of luxurious vanilla, pine oil, leather, oak and bourbon in a wicked sensation of velour against the inner recesses of your mouth. A warming flow gently overtakes the back of the throat, as you eagerly anticipate another rendezvous with this silken darling.
Creativity within the splendor of language and artistic chemistry! Don’t you just love craft beer?
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