Any marriage can be challenging. Yet, being married to someone who is ADD or ADHD can be especially challenging. For someone who is not ADD, it is hard to understand the constant, daily, even hourly challenges that ADD or ADHD can cause one to experience. In reality, it does not matter which person is ADD, and has little to do with the constant struggle one is bound to experience in a marriage.

The hardest part of being married to someone who is ADD is accepting differences in the way each of you processes even the simplest decisions. People with ADD can be difficult to live with on a daily basis. Often those with ADD have poor boundaries and difficulty processing or remembering important events.

If you go into a marriage knowing one of the people is ADD than it is possible for both parties to work together to overcome the differences. For example, if the person who is ADD is going to be entirely responsible for paying and maintaining the financial matters, it might be a good idea that the non-ADD spouse keeps a calendar in order to follow-up that the bills are mailed or paid by the due date. Having a follow up plan can avoid costly late fees and decreasing the couple’s credit rating. In the end, it may take both people to pay the bills by setting aside specific times to sit down together and review monthly payments and charges.

Due to the difficulties, ADD presents with organization and memory, living with a spouse who is ADD is definitely challenging. What happens when both spouses are ADD? Does this mean double the trouble? Not necessarily, that is if both parties are willing to work at supporting the strengths and weaknesses of the other. If one spouse is stronger at financial matters perhaps, it is best to allow her to be responsible for the financial aspects of the marriage. Why make life any more challenging than it already can be. If one or the other spouse is more organized, then allow him or her to be in charge of making or keeping a calendar with the appointments or important dates to remember. A shared calendar can be a benefit for both parties.

In the end, communication is going to be the key to whether any marriage, regardless if anyone has ADD or not. Communication is what allows relationships to thrive. Without basic communication, no marriage can survive. Talking about what is happening, what is not happening and what is hindering daily life will make a world of difference.

So, remember to talk to each other and tell each other where you are thriving and where you need help in the daily life of marriage. Marriage is a fellowship, not a dictatorship, without communication, there is nothing?