As I planned to write my tribute to veterans I talked with several people who had served in the military and those who had a loved one who served. There are the obvious common threads among them, that of their combination of pride and fear. But what I learned from these people can be best described by the glimpse into the life of one family whose son/grandson recently served in the Marines.
Like so many brave men and women, Pennsylvania native Bryan Boyer enlisted in the service after September 11. The tragedy that day was not the only reason he enlisted, but it had much to do with it. He enlisted in 2002 at the age of 19 and was discharged as a sergeant in 2006.
While serving Boyer spent 9 months in Iraq, and even volunteered to go back to “finish the job”, but he was denied that offer. Such a desire is not uncommon among those who have served. It has been said that many people enlist out of service to their country, but after they are in a war, they serve out of loyalty to their comrades in arms.
The Boyer family survived not by sitting and worrying about his safety, which they were; but by keeping their love for him alive in his heart. A night didn’t go by where his mother, Patti, didn’t do something for her son.
Patti started her campaign by purchasing a cross which he wore along with his dog tags the entire time he was in Iraq. She made him cards from photographs of things from home, whether it was pictures of his truck, his motorcycle, or their dog, she included used them to make those cards a piece of home. She sent a small decorated Christmas tree with a Marine theme, and at Easter sent baskets for him and two of his buddies. She also asked school children to send messages, to which he replied faithfully.
His grandmother, Betty Talley, also wrote letters and e-mails, at least once a week; and she also provided a strong sense of support to her daughter who's missed her son so much. At family gatherings they would pass around a card or something everyone could sign and they’d send it to him.
Having someone serving during time of war wasn’t new to Betty. “I had an uncle who served overseas in World War II,” she explained, adding there were often long days, even months, of anxiety as they awaited letters so they’d know he was okay.
“Communication is so much better now,” Betty explained. “Our grandson had access to telephone and e-mail to keep in touch.”
When asked about her grandson’s return, Betty explained that Bryan was greeted with words of appreciation for his service to our country. This meant a great deal compared to the often negative expressions after other wars.
He has photographs he’s shown to the men in the family, stating he didn’t want to show them to the women in his family because they were so gory. Still, he doesn’t need those as a reminder, he’ll likely carry pictures in his mind the rest of his life.
Boyer has experienced common troubles after serving in a time of war. Sleeplessness was the biggest problem, but his grandmother said he’s doing better as time passes.
Betty offers these suggestions to others who have loved ones serving in the military. “Have faith in God’s plan and keep them in your prayers,” she said. “Send encouraging mail and keep up your own morale.”
She hit on something vitally important. It seems a common factor among those serving, to be concerned for those loved ones at home. That makes it all the more important for friends of those who have someone in their family serving to offer their support to those families.
This war, like others, has touched many lives. This is just the family of one young Marine. There are many more like him. Men and women serving so that we can be free. Take a moment today and offer a prayer for their safety, and for their families. And find ways you can help them. Below are a few links, or just search "help for military families".
A great book on military families can be purchased below:
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