Many people have a hard time keeping up with a messy spouse. We address serious problems with this in “When Only One of You Wants a Clean House”. But how do we deal with the less serious (but still difficult) task of cleaning up after someone else?

To be honest, this may have more to do with organizing and lifestyle than actually cleaning. As a former compliance coordinator, I know that it’s key to make “compliance the path of least resistance”. This means: make it easier for your spouse (and family) to do it the right way than to make a mess. That means putting trash cans in places you don’t normally think to put them—like the family room or TV room. Certainly make it decorative and not out of place, but make them easy to get to as opposed to having to go to another room to remove trash. If it requires very little effort to comply, it is easier to get people to comply. You might even do well with a small, non-trash container that sits on an end table but that your family uses for trash. As long as it contains the mess, the goal is met. Do they leave their shoes in the most inconvenient place? Put a shoe rack (or decorative shoe box/container) there. Keys left somewhere? Time to hang a key rack somewhere you wouldn’t have thought to.

If you’re in a situation where creative placement doesn’t work, try striking a compromise. Admittedly, I have an extremely nasty habit of leaving mine on the floor next to my side of the bed. Our hamper is in the master bathroom—which makes my house sound pretty big, but really the hamper is maybe 15-18 feet from where my dirty laundry is left. My husband and I have struck a compromise: I can leave my clothing there from the time I go to bed until I get up in the morning, but since I have to go to the bathroom in the morning anyway—I have to bend over and pick up the clothes on the floor and carry them into the bathroom to the hamper. This works most of the time (often I am awakened by a child in need—so my first stop isn’t the bathroom!).

Last, get to the heart of the problem. This may take some time. What IS the actual aversion to cleanliness. Remove the barriers and then address any remaining underlying issues. Cleanliness is a state of mind and being. There is a great deal of psychology behind it. Talk to your spouse about how s/he grew up: what were the rules of the household in general? Were there rules about cleanliness? Were there routines? Is your spouse rebelling? Is your spouse trying to live the same way that s/he did as a child? It seems silly, but sometimes very trivial things are a manifestation of our psychology.

And while you’re digging, think about your own upbringing. Think about why you are choosing these battles and if there are things that maybe YOU can compromise on.

In the end, everyone needs to be happy. Hopefully, you can put on your thinking cap with these tips and get most of the way there!