Guest Author - Pam Garlick

Every 100 minutes a teen commits suicide. Also, suicide is the second leading cause of death among people 14 to 25 years of age. I know I have written on this subject before in various forms, and you might still be wondering what it has to do with relationships. My answer is simple, no matter how alone one of those who commits suicide might feel, there was someone who touched their life, and very well suffered great loss because of their death.

Right now there is more than one person I know who has attempted suicide and even been institutionalized for a time because of it. I know they feel depressed, hopeless, and alone. I also know they are loved and have many people who care about them.

One example is a young woman I will call Kelly. I am not going to give you a long list of details about Kelly’s life, or her physical and mental ailments. That list would entail too much information for one article. What I want to do is detail what is resulting from her pleas for help.

First, I must say that she has received both moral and financial support from my church and probably countless other sources in the past. The sad thing is many people, myself included, are uncertain just how much she tells us is true.

Here comes the Catch-22. She is depressed and feeling hopeless. She has attempted suicide in the past, and has thoughts of suicide still. As her situation grows even more grave, I can say without a doubt those thoughts must have increased.

It doesn’t matter if she is using suicide as a means of getting attention to her plight so that she will get help, or as a means to permanently end her hopelessness. What matters is that she has reached the point of desperation, sees no way out, no help in her near future, no future for that matter.

Two women from my church and myself have started serving as mentors for Kelly. Our goal is not to do for her, but to try to help her do for herself. It’s the old adage, not a hand out, rather a hand up. There are so many cliches that are used in this type of situation. Frankly, I’m appalled that I have been using them.

Why, when they are true? You might ask.

Because one question I asked Kelly received a reply that has plagued me. “How do you see your future?” I asked her.

She gazed at me blankly before answering, “What future?” She shrugged, her expression still somewhat blank. “I’m concerned with now,” she continued. “I don’t see a future.”

I told the other two women working with me that we need to be prepared that this could have an unpleasant ending. I didn’t say the word “suicide”. I simply said we can only do our best to help her. We can pray for her and guide her the best we can. But she still may make the wrong choices.

I don’t know if I’m prepared if Kelly makes the choice I’m fearing the most; but, I know it is possible. Pardon another cliche, she is “at the end of her rope”. And as long as she feels everything is hopeless, she may just stop clinging to that rope.

I pray none of you are going through a similar situation. The sad thing is that so many people don’t even know when someone in their life is troubled. I did some research because of Kelly, and came across a website I’ve found to be very helpful. They even offer a quiz to see how much you know about depression. However, they also offer a lot of other valuable information. There is another site that I have the utmost trust in, and I will list that also. They offer a hot line as well as a large amount of written material.

I hope you check both out before someone you care about becomes one of those people who dies every 100 minutes.

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