Guest Author - Wollie Woehler

Even before we are born we start building relationships. The parents start their bonding with the unborn child through there thoughts and emotions. Once the baby is held in their arms, the relationship changes to something even deeper. The child's relationship with its parents is confirmed by the type of care and love it receives.

Depending on the type of neuromuscular disease and its effects on the child, interaction with other children can progress without any problems. If the child is restricted in walking and playing in the normal way, forming lasting relationships becomes more difficult. The other children cannot understand why their friend cannot run and play with them. The affected child may experience a sense of loneliness not being able to join in all the fun.

Sending the child to a main stream school where he is not fully accepted because of his “being different” influences building lasting relationships. Some children’s personalities pull friends towards them regardless of their disability.

There are different types of relationships. Family ties between brothers and sisters differ from relationships between friends. A child with a disabling type of neuromuscular disease who is more of an introvert differs from that of an extrovert personality. Even an extrovert child may experience emotions of rejection if society does not fully accept him.

Since the establishment of a large variety of different types of sport for handicap children and adults, forming lasting relationships have become more relaxed. Interest in, knowledge of and participation in sport has broadened mutual interests among disabled and able bodied people.

Romantic relationships amongst disabled persons and between a disabled and able-bodied person can also last as long as any other romantic relationship.

In some circles the perception exists that it is better for two people who are both disabled to marry one another. “They can understand each other so much better because they are in the same circumstances” is a popular argument.

“In a marriage between a disabled person and a “normal” person the restrictions of the disabled person can become too much for the spouse to cope with and in the long run he/she may become bored with the other partner.”

Even in so-called “normal” marriages the couple may drift apart because of the one growing in the work situation, stimulation and challenges where the spouse may stagnate in their work and social circles. Children may be a bonding factor in their parent’s lives or they may drift apart because one of them, normally the mother, is completely absorbed in the children’s activities. When the kids are grown up and leave home, the parents may have driven so far apart that they may not be able to close the gap between them. This scenario has nothing to do with either of them being disabled or not.

We will venture deeper into the topic of forming lasting relationships in future articles. Relationships are of the utmost importance in any person’s life as it is with each one of us until the day we die.