You might have read in a previous article that I have cleaning out my shed in the yard which has held boxes and boxes of things belonging to my mother. We packed them all in the big shed out back when she moved in with us years ago. Recently our house burned down and it is larger now with a wee bit more storage. The men folk of the house decided to reclaim the “work shop.”
Mom and I have been out on the back porch sorting out boxes. I left her outside with her memories and came back inside to work on the computer for awhile. She came in and handed me a bunch of envelopes addressed to she and my father. They were all from me, from college. I had graduated from high school in Fulton, New York. It is a small upstate community that was an old mill town laying on the Erie Canal run.

I was 17 when I left home to go to college. I had looked at college in Florida where my parents owned another home where we would go on vacations and it was to be their retirement home. It was our intentions that I would be a sophomore in college when my parents would be ready to head to Florida to spend their retirement years there. Unfortunately Dad passed away before that could happen. I am an only child, headed 1,475 miles away from home at the age of 17 after living in a quiet farm town.

I went to Stetson University in Deland, Florida. It was a very nice university specializing in many things, business, law, music to name just a few. I remember my mother crying when she left me at my dorm, I had tears streaming down my face, and my father had already left the building and was sitting in the car. He would not show his tears but Mom and I could see him out the window.

So what does all of this have to do with your sons? Everything. You might think that sons are completely different than daughters when it comes to emotions, sobbing farewells, and concerns that they are left alone in an alien world to fend for themselves. They aren’t, speaking as a girl myself. They might be tougher on the exterior. And girls might show or voice their fears or concerns more. But I can almost guarantee that although your son might be excited about the move into adulthood, his stomach is a whirl of intestinal acid created out of fear and anxiety.

When my parents moved me to college they sent along with me a folder of prepaid post cards, envelopes and postage. When a friend of mine moved away and was a terrible writer, I typed out letters like an exam and she could answer it by multiple choice! Of course I included a self addressed, stamped envelope so I had half a chance of getting a letter returned.

Sitting back and reading those letters yesterday I have to admit I was quite surprised what I wrote in them. Most of the time I pretended to be happy and that everything was going alright. I lied. I was actually homesick, distraught, and miserable. I faked it. Or so I thought so. Many years later Mom had told me she read between the lines but if she started to cry on the phone it would only make things worse. She is a strong woman. Can you be that strong for your son?

Although you will sit home and be concerned if your son is getting out and socializing enough, or perhaps too much, he will be fine. And yes he will miss his family, his bedroom, the Sunday morning breakfast, and the quiet talks he shared with you. But there are more to come. When he comes home for vacations or finishes school, you’ll be there for him and he will be ready to share those boring old times he loved so much.

Many will be going away soon to college, the military or to take another job in another city. Be prepared for the heart wrenching tug that you and he share as you say your goodbyes and pack the days, weeks, and months ahead with fun, laughter and good talks.

Be at Peace