“How strong is strong enough? How strong do I have to be, God?” the woman felt like she carried the weight of the world on her shoulders. Why was she so responsible? Why did she feel guilty about the financial situation in which her family lived? Why did she feel like she had to jump in and help everyone around her when they had needs, but nobody reciprocated?

She did those things because she was compassionate. She did those things because she understood what it felt like to stand alone and she didn’t want anyone else to feel so alone and desolate. She did those things because of something her mother had said numerous times: “You can’t have the same expectations for others that you have for yourself. You are a leader.”

When she was growing up she had always looked out for the underdogs because they were up against more and she wanted them to be winners, too. She hadn’t thought of that for a while…a long while. She had to be strong so she could help the people around her to get through the hard times, the problems, over, around or through the obstacles that overwhelmed them.

Whether you believe in God or not, the Bible contains a LOT of helpful wisdom, like that found in the book of Titus 2: 1-19. Verse 2: Teach the older men to be temperate, worthy of respect, self-controlled, and sound in faith, in love and in endurance. Verses 3-5: Teach the older women to be reverent in the way they live, not to be slanderers, or addicted to too much wine, but to teach what is good. Then they can train the younger women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind…”

Even those who are not believers in God want to be loved and respected. Even they need to be self-controlled, respectful, honorable, responsible, dependable…those are desirable qualities for everyone. These teachings are valuable because they strengthen us. When we are strong, we are better-equipped, better able to withstand our trials and tribulations in this world.

The psychological community addresses human emotional strength through “emotional intelligence” also known as EI.

Have you ever been told to listen to that little voice inside that tells you what’s right and wrong—and most of us ignore? It’s also known as gut instinct or inner intuition. Have you ever put your gut instincts to the test and found that those feelings were right and you should have listened to them?

And though you think there are things that you’ve forgotten…painful, difficult, negative things…but those memories are actually still filed away in your subconscious where you don’t have to deal with them until you are able to cope with them. For some of us, though, burn-out leads us to emptiness or numbness. The big problem with numbing ourselves to pain and sadness—the negatives in our lives—is that we can’t feel love, joy, or any other of the good things around us.

As adults, particularly those in their “golden” or “senior” years, we have the opportunities to use the wisdom of our experiences to help our children and grandchildren over the rough bumps in the road.

“Kids really need our help developing the courage to allow themselves to feel their own emotions, and to understand their feelings,” says Paula Petrie, BellaOnline’s Mom Editor. “Having healthy emotions requires a good support network of family and friends. But ultimately, our children need to navigate their own emotional torrents and assume responsibility for their own happiness. Emotional intelligence is said to be the predictor of future success.”

Strength is found within the self. It’s not something that anyone can give to someone else. It is knowing self. It is self-esteem, self-worth, knowing that we are deserving of good things in our lives. It is self-esteem, self-worth, knowing that we are deserving of good things in our lives.

Maybe as children we weren’t praised, hugged, respected, or successful enough. That doesn’t mean we have to live without those things in our golden years. You and I have endured a lot as we’ve struggled through the years. That alone qualifies us as good people, deserving, survivors…winners. Feel good about those achievements..

Be ye strong? Are you struggling emotionally and don’t know what to do? What does the little voice inside you say? Listen to the positive, reassuring voice, not the negative, harsh, accusing one that causes you to beat up on yourself. After a while you will feel comfortable with the positive voice. It’ll be second nature to you. Eliminate the toxic people from your life and surround yourself with friends who enhance the happiness you feel. Happiness is something else that no one can give you but comes from inside yourself.

You might want to try your hand at journaling. Make daily entries in a journal or blog. A journal is more private and personal, something you can go back through to look at your feelings and actions at any given time and gain balance…and strength.