Guest Author - Terrie Lynn Bittner

As war begins, children become worried and confused. Parents may be just as worried and confused. This is a complicated war with valid arguments on both sides. However, the gospel does offer sound advice for helping children come through this time feeling safe. Following are some points to consider as you help your children think about war.

1. No matter what you believe about this war, you can support the soldiers.

President Hinckley spoke to students at BYU recently and offered a firm statement of support for our soldiers. Whether you believe they are fighting a justified or unjust war, they are doing what they are sent to do and they are making tremendous sacrifices on behalf of their country. We can support their work regardless of our personal feelings about either the war or the president. Your children may enjoy reading an account of the prophet's words, which can be found here:

Pres. Hinckley Offers Compassion, Support

2. The Book of Mormon and other scriptures offer support both for and against war, as well as explanations as to when war is valid.

If your children are older and struggling to choose sides, spend some family time searching the scriptures to learn about war. Let them study Captain Moroni, and the Anti-Nephi-Lehites both and read what other scriptures say about war and peace. At the end of this article, and in the related links to the right are articles by church leaders to help you research.

3. This is a good opportunity to discuss patriotism.

What do the prophets teach about patriotism? Are there limits to our need to support our leaders? If we disagree, what is the appropriate way to express our feelings and to work for change? If we agree, what is the appropriate way to show support?

4. Don't obsess about the war.

This is especially important if you have young children. They don't understand what they see on television and may be frightened, believing the bombs are exploding here and now. Leave the news off when young children are nearby and restrict access to articles written for children. Even if the article is written for children, preview it. These sites offer news tailored to children:

Yahooligans! News

ABCNews4Kids

Time for Kids

Scholastic News

5. Show your children how you are keeping safe.

Long before the government told us to stock up, Latter-day Saints were building food storage and 72 hour kits. If you have food on hand, even if it is only for a few weeks, show your children. Let them help you stock up if you need more. To learn more, check my links on emergency preparedness.

6. Look for the helpers

When Fred Rogers was a little boy, his mother always told him to look for the helpers in scary times. Help your child see the many people who are working to make things better. This assures children the world is still a safe and good place to grow up. The link attached to Mr. Rogers' name takes you to a page by his foundation on talking to children about war and includes reassuring video clips of Mr. Rogers talking about scary news.

7. Take time for fun.

However sad or afraid you may feel, keep up familiar and comforting routines and plan fun times together. Go to a park, take your vacation and read together as a family. Find funny books to enjoy. Help children understand that life will continue and it's okay to be happy.

8. Stay in touch.

Children may worry about relatives who are far away. Stay as closely in touch as possible. Send regular email, letters, and packages, and make telephone calls.

9. Stay spiritual

It is more important than ever to keep up with family home evening, scripture reading, prayer and church attendance. Your child will find comfort in these reassuring routines and in staying close to Heavenly Father. Remind children they can take their fears to God for comfort.


Ensign Articles on War and Peace to use in your family search:

From the Valley of Despair to the Mountain Peaks of Hope (Note: Harold B. Lee gave this talk to clarify the church's position on war in 1971.)

Dallin H. Oaks World Peace

Marion G. Romney: The Price of Peace

Gordon B. Hinckley Til We Meet Again

Russel M. Nelson: Blessed are the Peacemakers

Joseph B. Wirthlin: Peace Within


President Hinckley: The Times in Which We Live (Given when war began in Afghanistan after September 11.)

President Hinckley: The War We are Winning

From Ensign: A Life Among Muslims