Guest Author - Tracy Hamilton
I think it is fair to say that most, if not all of us, have a nagging voice in our head. You know the one. It tells you you’re not good enough, that no-one likes you, that you must try harder, that you are not thin enough or beautiful enough. The list is endless.
The voice can become debilitating when we allow it to, and when we believe it. What is the voice in our head? It is our insecurity. It is a running dialogue that we have with ourselves about how we have failed and a fear that we will be found out as frauds.
If you ask anyone, well anyone that is willing to admit it, they will agree that they have a voice in their head that talks to them. Most of the voices we hear are negative, however it is possible to change the negative talk into positive talk.
The voice is a reflection of the beliefs we hold about our-self. It re-enforces every negative thought we have about our-self and it holds us back from truly being our-self.
Where does the voice come from? It is a combination of other peoples opinions, our own judgements of our-self and others; and from our lack of self confidence and self love. It is a culmination of everything anyone has ever said to us that we took to heart and held as true.
This is what I would call an acceptable voice in our head. Even although it is unhealthy in untold ways, it is not the same as the voice a person experiencing schizophrenia hears. The voice they hear tells them how to act and how to behave; sometimes in extreme and violent ways. It is a self destructive voice that undermines the hearer and makes them feel bad beyond belief.
When dealing with the ‘normal’ voice in your head, here are some tips that may help you:
Don’t believe the ‘voice’. Talk back to it and defend yourself. It is only your unconscious beliefs about yourself being echoed through your thoughts.
Ask yourself why you are thinking and believing such thoughts.
Challenge the thoughts. Is that true, am I really useless, does everyone really hate me?
Talk back to it as if you are having a conversation with a friend who is accusing you of the things the ‘voice’ is saying to you. Question the validity of the accusations
Start to love yourself. When you hear a negative thought, say to it, that’s not true I am a worthy person and I deserve love; or whatever thoughts occur in the moment. Counter the thoughts with a positive thought/affirmation about yourself instead.
When you love and accept yourself the voice will stop because you will not have any of the doubts about yourself or any of the fears and worries that brought the voice to life. It will have no power over you because you have mastered yourself and your thoughts.
What does it matter if you are any of the things the ‘voice’ tells you that you are? The only reason the thoughts affect you is because you are giving them the power to affect you. When you stop and laugh at the thoughts they lose all power over you.