Guest Author - Tracy Hamilton
Life has given us a myth to hold as our standard, a myth that is impossible to achieve and makes us feel inadequate.
The myth is we have to be slim, young, beautiful, amazing at everything, own a fabulous home, earn a certain amount of money and on and on it goes. When we do not meet these requirements of being worthy people we feel like failures, which can then lead to depression.
We have spent our whole lives trying to be something someone else wants us to be instead of being who we are. Rather than trying to fit into another persons mould of who we ‘should’ be, its time to shine and be who we ‘are’ unapologetically.
Can you remember the last time you were totally authentic and completely lived your truth? There is a fear that when we do that we will not be accepted, so we go around trying not to be who we are. Does that really bring a feeling of acceptance? If you are accepted in this way then do those people really know who you are and love you for it? All it means is you are good at pretending and fitting in, but, do you really feel a sense of belonging or are you afraid you’ll be ‘found out’ and exiled by the group?
There is a strength in being honest, or more scarily, vulnerable. It takes a deep inner strength to be vulnerable in order to be who you are. When we stand and own our truth there is nothing more liberating. Being vulnerable is being strong, being compliant is being weak.
Have you ever agreed with others even when you didn’t agree with them on the inside?
Have you ever gone along with things that you really didn’t want to do?
Have you ever told someone how good they look when you didn’t really like what they were wearing?
In the above scenario’s its easiest to comply. The most difficult challenge is to own what you think and feel, then expressing it compassionately. A disagreement in options does not have to be confrontational. It is not a threat on you, it is simply a different perspective. Unless your sense of ‘you’ is derived from your perspective, then when it is challenged it will feel like a direct challenge on you, and your self worth will be under threat.
Self awareness can help you identify the ways we are functioning and the filters we are using and believing. It can help you to discover ‘you’ and to be yourself. Is this not our purpose in life? When we let go of fear, we find confidence instead. When we set out to be true to our-self, it does not require another persons validation, however, when we set out to impress and fail then we are set up to be judged according to our aim, and end up feeling like a failure.
When we let go of the perfection we are trying to achieve, we find the true imperfect and beautiful selves that we are, waiting to be embraced and brought forth into the world. Are you ready to set yourself free?