Guest Author - Susan Thompson

In my life pre-children I remember seeing little kids throw tantrums in the store and thinking “If that was my kid I would be so embarrassed” or “My kids will never act like that.”

Fast forward five years and watch me leave the shopping cart in the store half full and carry my screaming child to the car. I had to find a solution to this problem. As with a lot of my parenting issues I turned to a true professional – my own mother. My siblings were much younger than me and I don’t remember them misbehaving in a store. She told me the best way to avoid temper tantrums in the store was to leave the kids home with their father. Since that was not always an option for me, she let me in on another secret and now I will share with you that secret. The secret for making children behave that has been handed down in my family for generations. Here it is - I bribed them! Yes I will admit it. I know it sounds awful but it is true.

Now I will explain how I used this in raising my children. We would pile into the car to go to the store. Before getting out of the car to enter the store, I told my little darlings if they behaved and let me finish the shopping quickly, they could get a small treat. The treat had to cost $1 or less. If anyone started to act up I would give one warning. After the one warning if there was a problem they didn’t get a treat. I didn’t give in and after starting this practice it was extremely rare that I had a problem with my kids behaving in a store.

If you think about it, life is a series of bribes. If you work hard in school you get good grades. At work you get a raise for performing well. This theory works well with children. Although, I believe today’s politically correct phrase for bribery is “positive reinforcement.”

I did learn that a few more things helped shopping trips go smoothly. You shouldn’t shop if your kids are hungry, thirsty, due for a nap, and of course the baby should have a fresh diaper on when you leave the house. I used to shop right after breakfast to avoid all three of those issues.

I am not particularly proud of bribing my kids, but in the long run it worked and didn’t do any harm. As a matter of fact it still works. My teens know that if they want to go somewhere their rooms have to be cleaned up. Also if they get in trouble, things get taken away from them. The one draw back to this plan is that kids learn quickly how to use this same practice on you. Well I guess every plan has some sort of draw back right?