As I type this, I'm not afraid to share with you that I am in agony. My hands are swollen and even the pressure of typing on the keys reverberates all the way up my forearms. Yesterday, I sat on my couch in wrist bands. I took my prescription pain killers and added some over the counter analgesics (pain relievers) on top of them. Usually, I try to avoid pain medications. I prefer a more natural approach.

However, as I was sitting on the couch and whimpering, I realized I was not going to make it. My children heard me crying. They were alarmed. They are only 7 and 2 and still don't understand what this disease is. Of course, my husband doesn't. I love him dearly, but he still thinks he can "fix it."

Poor, dear and sweet man.

How can I make them understand what I still don't despite all my best efforts at educating myself? How can I tell them what it feels like? The closest I come is that it feels like someone is hammering and chipping away at my skin, my bones, my body. My teeth hurt and my hair hurts. My little one likes to twirl my hair while I put her down for a nap. Yesterday, I had to make her stop. It was agony.

My jaw hurts and cracks. Moving my fingers is painful. Just being awake is agony, but my sleep is interrupted due to the pain (even with medication). I hate it when this happens, but what caused it?

This morning, I woke up with my menstrual cycle. For women and those of us who still have our periods, yes, the menstrual cycle can trigger a fibromyalgia attack. But why? Something about the hormones is all I can gauge. My doctor agrees with the connection, but he doesn't know why. My rheumatologist says yes, but he's not sure either.

My husband said it was a good thing that we knew it was a 'period attack' because it'll be over soon. Isn't that sweet? I have 6 more days of agony and he sees it as a 'good thing'!!! I know what he means, but still. I'm hurting. Being gracious is NOT on my to-do list right now.

I've also been working myself very hard. I've taken on a lot of volunteer projects and writing work because well, I hate 'being sick' and not being able to do things. I also am still an overachiever. Most fibromyalgics are. The disease doesn't take that away from us, either. Unfortunately, it can lead me into such a vicious cycle.

I'm overwhelmed and stressed out. I have also not been sleeping very well, trying to catch up on projects when I felt better (last week!). I have not been sticking to my low-carb plan. I don't know why but when I eat low-carb, my fibro is better. Sugar and refined white foods can trigger an attack for me, at least.
Of course, those are the comfort foods I crave when I'm overwhelmed.

The weather is also changing here in Austin, TX. We've had rain and the humid after effects of the hurricanes that are plaguing Florida. Humidity gets into my 'skin' and always reminds me that Fibromyalgia is an arthritis of the soft tissues. Cold weather and air conditioning bother me too when in full attack mode. I just can't regulate my temperature either.

Does anyone know why these things happen? Can you relate to me? If so, email me at fibcfs@bellaonline.com.