Being LDS, meaning a Latter-day Saint, is supposed to be challenging, but we know we will gain great rewards for our efforts. The harder we try, the greater our blessings will be. Being LDS, meaning a learning disabled student, can be explained in the same way. It isn’t easy, but the blessings can be great. The challenge is to survive long enough to collect the blessings. One of a parent’s greatest gifts to a learning disabled child is to show him how to survive, and to do it with joy. We can’t leave it up to the schools, because they don’t love our child and they don’t really share our goals in most cases. They need good test scores and low budgets. We need our child to grow up having faith in himself and in God. This means our approach might be different than theirs.
It becomes very easy for both the parent and the child to focus on the challenges and then be too busy to celebrate the good. Help your child take inventory of what he is good at and then make sure you compliment him on those things often. God gave him many great gifts and you don’t want to let him forget what they are.
Homework is one of the worst aspects of learning disabilities. It can take hours for many children and is a frequent source of arguments between parents and children. If you can survive homework, you can keep your relationship intact. Remember that your child is very tired by the end of the school day. Hours and hours of homework are too many. You may need to work with the school to give adapted homework. I insisted teachers prioritize the homework, and when we reached the end of the time, we stopped. Otherwise, we were often at it for three or more hours. I also fought for the right to let my child type or dictate homework, or to adapt it in some other way. This is your battle, so prepare to fight it well. At home, teach your child to manage his disability himself as much as possible.
Start homework with a prayer. This may not be a bad idea for any child, but it’s essential for helping a learning disabled child through the trauma of homework. You might alternate who says it, so that your prayers can teach him what to say, and also show your faith.
Have him outline to you each assignment he has to do. Ask what materials will be needed and then let him gather them. Choose a quiet environment and stay with him or nearby. Many children with learning disabilities can’t organize or break down tasks, so you will have to help him do that. Ask questions, and encourage him to come up with his own solutions. Remember that one of the blessings of learning disabilities is that it teaches creative problem solving, but only if you give him these skills. Instead of telling him what to do, ask, “What should you do next?” If that is too much question, offer choices: “Do you think it would be better to put each spelling word onto a card so you can lay them out in alphabetical order, or is it better to use the list the way it is when you alphabetize?”
When he first starts to get frustrated (and it’s usually a matter of when, not if), speak soothingly and try to help him slow down and back up a little. Help him to stop and think. If he seems too upset, call for a break. Spend time with him figuring out what helps during these breaks, which should be very short-a drink of water, a walk to the mailbox-nothing that is so much fun he will act frustrated to get out of work.
At the end of the session, ask him to evaluate what went well and what needs to be changed. Let him think of solutions. As he does this, he will learn to make his own adaptations and to see problems as challenges in need of solutions, rather than as incurable faults in himself.
Encourage your child to pray regularly about his disability. He should be discouraged from praying that it will go away. Instead, suggest he ask for guidance in creating adaptations, a positive attitude, and courage. He can also ask for help with specific problems, such as coping with teasing, or softening the heart of an unkind teacher. Then ask him what his part will be in making these prayers happen.
The skills your child develops as he learns to live as a person with a challenge will be a strength to him all his life. Highly successful adults often overcame great challenges, including learning disabilities. Thomas Edison and Albert Einstein both had learning disabilities. So did a number of presidents. It was the struggle that gave them the skills they needed to succeed, but it was also attitude. Help your child cultivate an attitude of eagerness to face challenges, and more importantly, help him remember who he is: a treasured child of God.
Revealed Educational Principles and Public Schools
