logo
g Text Version
Beauty & Self
Books & Music
Career
Computers
Education
Family
Food & Wine
Health & Fitness
Hobbies & Crafts
Home & Garden
Money
News & Politics
Relationships
Religion & Spirituality
Sports
Travel & Culture
TV & Movies

dailyclick
Bored? Games!
Nutrition
Postcards
Take a Quiz
Rate My Photo

new
European Travel
Action Movies
Bible Basics
Houseplants
Romance Movies
Creativity
Family Travel


dailyclick
All times in EST

Full Schedule
g
g Mental Health Site

BellaOnline's Mental Health Editor

g

Let Your Voice be Heard : Effective Communication

Guest Author - Carissa Vaughn

Discovering the magic button for good communication would most certainly be a fabulous breakthrough for those of us who have a relationship of any significance with most anyone! Generally speaking, most of us are not the communicator’s of the century. We have arguments, get misunderstood, and of course – misunderstand the verbal touts of someone else. We’re not mind readers! How can you be heard effectively?

Here are a few starters.

First things first – make time for what is important to you instead of putting it off. Yes, I know this means that you have to coordinate this with someone else a lot of times but it can be worth it! Spur of the moment, heat of the moment type conversations often backfire. Give your (boyfriend, girlfriend, husband, mom, etc) the chance to make time for you. What if they don’t make time for you? Then do it when you are able to be alone, face to face without a distraction, to give you the best chance to be heard.
Don’t assume the other person knows how you feel. Don’t assume they are going to know what you’re talking about when you start. Don’t assume they will understand WHY you feel how you do about something. Assuming sucks. It starts everything off with implications of one thing or another and ends up with both parties mad. Begin conversations stating up front what you are talking about, thinking about, stewing about – whatever! Lay a base amount of ‘ground’ so-to-speak so that you give the other party a chance to understand and absorb where you are coming from.

Don’t use YOU statements all the time. ‘YOU did this,’ ‘YOU always…’ Turning the focus of what you want to say onto yourself makes words more palatable. ‘I feel…,’ ‘I don’t understand why…’ It is less threatening, less provoking. The goal for being heard by someone else is more easily accomplished if they aren’t defensive, or put on the defensive from the start.

In any relationship it is a good thing to set limits between you. Why? Setting limits helps provide structure, it helps prevent burning bridges and hurting feelings (more), and it can give you a safe ‘out’ if needed. An important limit between my husband and I is no hanging up on the other person for any reason. It is disrespectful and a tool that people use to punish the other person. NOT acceptable. Of course then if a conversation gets heated you have to be willing to accept that the other person made need to get off the phone and allow them to if necessary. Other limits can be like a ‘time out’, giving you or them a period to cool off or think something over. Agree not to allow hurtful, deprecating statements that automatically make any talk lose/lose. Agree not to threaten to do one thing or another just because you’re mad. “I’ll get a divorce!” or “I won’t speak to you if…” etc. Expound on these things to fit your own situation.
Add Let+Your+Voice+be+Heard+%3A+Effective+Communication to Twitter Add Let+Your+Voice+be+Heard+%3A+Effective+Communication to Facebook Add Let+Your+Voice+be+Heard+%3A+Effective+Communication to MySpace Add Let+Your+Voice+be+Heard+%3A+Effective+Communication to Del.icio.us Digg Let+Your+Voice+be+Heard+%3A+Effective+Communication Add Let+Your+Voice+be+Heard+%3A+Effective+Communication to Yahoo My Web Add Let+Your+Voice+be+Heard+%3A+Effective+Communication to Google Bookmarks Add Let+Your+Voice+be+Heard+%3A+Effective+Communication to Stumbleupon Add Let+Your+Voice+be+Heard+%3A+Effective+Communication to Reddit




RSS | Related Articles | Editor's Picks Articles | Top Ten Articles | Previous Features | Site Map


For FREE email updates, subscribe to the Mental Health Newsletter


Past Issues


print
Printer Friendly
bookmark
Bookmark
tell friend
Tell a Friend
forum
Forum
email
Email Editor


Content copyright © 2014 by Carissa Vaughn. All rights reserved.
This content was written by Carissa Vaughn. If you wish to use this content in any manner, you need written permission. Contact Dr. Jonice Webb for details.

g


g features
People Don't Change

Emotionally Unavailable

What is Self-Worth

Archives | Site Map

forum
Forum
email
Contact

Past Issues
memberscenter


vote
Poetry
Daily
Weekly
Monthly
Less than Monthly



BellaOnline on Facebook
g


| About BellaOnline | Privacy Policy | Advertising | Become an Editor |
Website copyright © 2014 Minerva WebWorks LLC. All rights reserved.


BellaOnline Editor