Guest Author - Pam Garlick

I chose that title because I want all of you to finish it for yourself. However, I admit I feel driven to cover this topic today because I think a lot of people feel like I do, that surface beauty is being highly over-rated.

Last week I saw a segment on television about a teen-aged girl who had liposuction. This week there was more on the subject of cosmetic surgery for teen girls. I know it’s nothing new, through the ages many women and girls have been driven to fit the stereotype society has created for beauty.

Eating disorders and cosmetic surgery are all the results of people wanting to fit some type of stereotype. And although eating disorders are considered a mental health issue, so can cosmetic surgery when it leads to an excessive need to change one’s outer appearance.

I know the pain girls and young women feel to look their best. I remember the hurt I felt when I overheard a boy saying he wouldn’t go out with me unless I put a bag over my head. Later, my ex-husband told me that perhaps if I lost weight and had plastic surgery I would be more desirable. His excuse for cheating.

Seeing these segments on television brought back the pain I had once felt. And to be honest, sometimes still feel, although I’m far more secure in my self esteem than I once had been.

I recently read about the “Campaign for Real Beauty” being conducted by Dove soap. They have made a decision to consider “real beauty” when advertising their products. Thus the use of women of all shapes and sizes in their recent commercials.

I’m not here to promote their products. That is for you to decide. However, I do recommend if you are a mother of a young or teen girl you take a look at their 2005 study “Beyond Stereotypes: Rebuilding the Foundation of Beauty Beliefs”. This study released early this year has surveyed a vast range of females varying in age and cultures from just as varied economic backgrounds.

I will leave the reading of the 63 page document to your discretion, but will summarize by saying the statistics are startling even to one who has lived through a lot of the discontent they are talking about. The study found that only 10% of the women surveyed were free from concern about their body weight and shape. In many cases women and girls withdrew from activities because of their body image. Many suffered from eating disorders. Even more from low self esteem.

One of the most important correlations I found when reading this report was that mothers are a very powerful influence whether it be negative or positive.

What I surmised from this is also what I have observed from my own life. If a mother makes a daughter feel beautiful from a young age, that daughter will grow in confidence and self esteem. The mother can empower a daughter so much that when she reaches an age where peers often have more influence, the daughter will be less likely to become dissatisfied with her self image.

I highly recommend visiting the Dove site listed below for more information on ways mothers can help empower their daughters with the self confidence and self esteem needed in a world that seems to believe real beauty comes from the outside appearance.

If we work together a new generation of girls can learn that real beauty comes from the inside out.

Some other related reading can be obtained here: