Wikipedia defines Avoidant Personality Disorder as: "a personality disorder characterized by a pervasive pattern of social inhibition, feelings of inadequacy, extreme sensitivity to negative evaluation and avoidance of social interaction. People with avoidant personality disorder often consider themselves to be socially inept or personally unappealing, and avoid social interaction for fear of being ridiculed, humiliated, rejected or disliked. They typically present themselves as loners and report feeling a sense of alienation from society."

Of course the disorder title itself explains a good deal. It is common also to find that an individual who does not engage often in social or personal relationships may experience depression, anger and bitterness as a result of internalization from perceived rejection. One may have a touch of passive-aggressive behaviour patterns, and also possibly antisocial tendencies. The disorder is not to be confused however, with Antisocial Personality Disorder.


Some paranoia is often exhibited. Preoccupation with fault-finding, wondering what others are thinking, feeling as though one is not "good enough" to fit in with certain groups. This is most commonly found to be diagnosed in early adulthood, and it is debatable as to whether this is due to the 'coming of age' in our society or whether it is related to issues one has encountered up until the point that the avoidant behaviours become a problem. It is my opinion that it is a combination of things that contribute to the problem. Rejection, disapproval, verbal, emotional or physical abuse, and possibly dealing with another complicating disorders such as mental retardation, autism, or other developmental disability.

Diagnosing Avoidant Personality by a professional requires fitting into several criteria. According to the DSM IV, which is a commonly used diagnostic tool, defines some of the criteria:

"One may:

*Avoid occupational activities that involve significant interpersonal contact, because of fears of criticism, disapproval, or rejection

*Be unwilling to get involved with people unless certain of being liked

*Show restraint initiating intimate relationships because of the fear of being shamed, ridiculed, or rejected due to severe low self-worth.

*Be preoccupied with being criticized or rejected in social situations

*Be inhibited in new interpersonal situations because of feelings of inadequacy

*View self as socially inept, personally unappealing, or inferior to others

*Be unusually reluctant to take personal risks or to engage in any new activities because they may prove embarrassing "

Does any of this sound familiar to you? Whether it is something you recognize in your own life or in the life of a close friend or relative, this disorder IS treatable. Through the use of specific medications to assist with depression or anxiety and therapy tailored to fit the needs of the individual, one can attempt to overcome feeling uncomfortable around others and avoid (no pun intended) a life of complete isolation.

Recommended Reading



Distancing: Avoidant Personality Disorder, Revised and Expanded (Hardcover)
by Martin Kantor