My son was born with Down syndrome, and was seven years old when he developed insulin dependent diabetes. Friends I made in 'Mommy and Me classes when his older sister and their children were babies had many different reactions to my son's diagnosis at birth. I found at a First Steps program in Baltimore that there were new friends to be found who also were raising babies with Down syndrome, who understood some new realities that it took my previous friends a while to figure out.

Likewise, when my son developed diabetes, friends raising children with Down syndrome as well as those whose children were not diagnosed with anything (NDA) struggled with the lifestyle changes and new way of thinking required by a child's diagnosis of a chronic health condition. I found that some families in my Down syndrome support group moved our family into a different category when my son developed diabetes.

We were fortunate that an active Juvenile Diabetes support group in our region provided parties and monthly meetings where we could get together with other families whose children knew the realities of blood testing, balancing insulin with meals and exercise, and how to avoid or respond to health emergencies common to Type One diabetes.

Each year around my son's birthday, I celebrate the years of motherhood that I have had with him, and the thankfulness I feel for my son bringing those rare friends into my life who hold on to our friendship through each event and new diagnosis that is introduced into our lives. Although it's quite a price for our children to pay to bring us together, they would have paid the price anyway, so I must acknowledge and appreciate the small miracle of those friendships.

Friends who I never expected to be overwhelmed by a new diagnosis or related event have literally run out of my life when I most needed the simplest support. We just never know what straw will be the one, no matter who it is, when a long-time friend or new acquaintance will reach a threshold beyond which her friendship cannot pass. With a few treasured and notable exceptions, it has been mostly my mainstream friends from Mommy and Me and mainstream preschool parent ed classes who have stood by me all along. I would never have guessed that. They have shown me better than any media presentation, book or article, that my son is more like his mainstream peers than he is different, and that raising a child not diagnosed with anything is already the most difficult challenge in the world.

Friendship between mothers is not so much about how much we have in common, but how our differences and our commitment to one another create a relationship that keeps each of us going - through traumatic events, milestones and celebrations. Our sons and daughters benefit from the refuge we find in one another.

Browse at your local bookstore, public library or online retailer for books about parent support for mothers of children with disabilities.



Humor and Childhood Disability
http://www.bellaonline.com/articles/art59819.asp

Terri Mauro's blog, Dec 1, 2008:
My Kid Is Less Dysfunctional Than Your Kid
http://specialchildren.about.com/b/

Advocating in Multicultural Communities
http://www.bellaonline.com/articles/art11304.asp

Disability Advocacy and Awareness
http://www.bellaonline.com/articles/art35878.asp

Advocacy and Parent Support
http://www.bellaonline.com/articles/art54202.asp

Preparing for Emergencies - Children with Special Needs
http://www.bellaonline.com/articles/art50320.asp

Parenting Children With Health Issues
http://www.bellaonline.com/articles/art56840.asp

The National Dissemination Center for Children with Disabilities, formerly the
National Information Center for Handicapped Children and Youth
Links suggested in the December NICHCY eNewsletter:

Surviving the Holidays
http://www.suite101.com/article.cfm/chronic_fatigue_syndrome/86769

Recipe: Surviving the Holidays With Family
http://fycs.ifas.ufl.edu/news/2006/11/recipe-surviving-holidays-with-family.html

Daily Tips: Surviving The Holidays
http://www.additudemag.com/adhd-web/article/1058-3.html

Stress-Free Travel Tips for ADHD Families
http://www.additudemag.com/adhd/article/993.html

AD/HD Holiday Help: House Rules for Children
http://www.additudemag.com/adhd/article/880.html

AD/HD and Keeping the Peace at Family Gatherings
by Larry Silver, M.D.
http://www.additudemag.com/adhd/article/2065.html

Say Hello to Social Success
http://www.additudemag.com/adhd/article/2998.html

How I Survive the Holidays!
Compiled by Laura J. Warren, Texas Parent to Parent
http://txp2p.org/newsletters/2002newsletters.htm#holidays

What Should I Do at Family Gatherings?
http://www.snacknyc.com/files/22766306.pdf

Can't We All Just Get Along? - Three Moms on Surviving Family Gatherings
http://www.greatschools.net/cgi-bin/showarticle/3058

Surviving the Holidays and Autism
http://www.bbbautism.com/e.news/vol.3/vol_3_iss_1_holidays.htm