Guest Author - Lisa Shea

We live in a world where everything can be measured. Our scales give us our weight down to the tenth of a pound. The weather forecasters know the exact temperature. It's no wonder that we want some sort of a chart to use that says for sure "This is not love" and "this is love". Unfortunately for lovers, emotions are not an exact science.

Every single one of us is a unique human being, with unique backgrounds, unique parents, unique views of the world. This very much applies to the word "love". There is no set meaning for this word. It in fact means many different things naturally. You can love pizza. You can love Orlando Bloom. You can love your mom and dad, and love your dog. And you can love your boyfriend or girlfriend. All of these mean quite different things to you.

So one of the most important things you can learn as you grow up is where YOU draw that line. You, personally. It is fully, completely, and totally up to YOU what you choose to call "love". Others may and will probably try to influence you. But this is one of those "core personality traits" that you need to develop for yourself.

Some people fall in and out of love daily. They love every new person they meet - at least for a few hours. Some people only fall in love after dating for several months, after getting to know what a person is really like. And some people *like* everybody that is kind to them, but a real *love* is reserved for that one special person, and is only said when the next words are then going to be "and I want to marry you." So there are many different levels of how people choose to define love.

The most common way people define love for themselves is in the middle of the extremes. It involves REALLY knowing a person, inside and out. You have known them for several months. You have seen them at all times of emotion - you've seen them happy, you've seen them sad, you've seen them bored, you've seen them excited. You have been through good times together - but you've also been through bad times. You are out of the 'new love rush' that comes when relationships begin, and even in the "bright light of day" you still care for them. You SEE and ACCEPT their faults, you don't try to claim this person is perfect. But even with those faults, you accept the faults as a part of them.

Love is not a crush - love involves someone you really know fully, not someone you admire from afar. Love is not lust - love involves really wanting to care for and help someone, not just admiring their body and wanting to touch them.

If you love someone, you are content just sitting with them for the afternoon, not being "seen", not touching each other, but just spending time together. If you love someone, then you trust them fully. You readily share all your hopes, dreams and fears, and you are not "afraid" of talking about any topic with them