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BellaOnline's Child Loss Editor

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Thank You Etiquette
What is the correct etiquette for thanking people for all of their kindnesses after your child dies? Do we have to thank everyone individually? Is there a time frame in which we should thank people? What do we say? And when?

What You Can Do to Help a Grieving Family
"How can we help?" is a question often asked of us. All people are different so what worked for us might not for someone else. But if youíre stuck wondering what to do, here are some things that we've found helpful during our tragic journey.

The First Year
The one year anniversary of our daughterís death is only 2 weeks away. We are stunned by this fact. It canít possibly be that she has been gone this long and we feel worse today than we did when it happened.

The Other Children Know
I have seen some remarkable children since my daughter's death. Her 8 and 9 year old friends and classmates are a constant amazement to me in how they are able to process grief and move forward with positive thoughts and good, kind memories of things they did with their friend.

How Are You?
There is an assumption that when we ask this question of someone that they answer it as if their life is just fine. Now think of a person whose life has been turned upside down. Their child has died. How do they answer this?

Just Keep Swimming...
Itís summer time and I watch my 6 year old learn to swim down to retrieve a diving bar. A simple task to some but for us, it is a monumental reminder that she can breathe and her 8 year old sister could not. It is a tribute to the strength of her sister who kept going even when it was so hard.

Blaming Yourself for the Death of Your Child
We can think of so many questions to ask ourselves why we didnít do more to prevent our childís death. We can very often ask these questions and blame ourselves for what has happened.

Routine for the Surviving Child
My surviving daughter has only known life with her big sister. Her big sister was her lifeís buffer and safety net. Her big sister was a playmate, a confidante, a best friend, a late night bad dream soother. What must it be like for a surviving sibling? And how can we, her parents help her?

To Go or Not Go, That is the Dilemma
For anyone whoís lost a child, it is nearly impossible to fathom that life moves forward. Itís not plausible that daily routines and events can continue on without our son or daughter. But the world does move forward; it does continue on and inevitably we are faced with moving with it.

Living in the Moment
I have felt and understood the meaning of this phrase many times, in both good and not so good stages of life. But never have these words had a more profound meaning than now as I try to carry on living without my daughter. Living in the moment has become a necessity to survive.

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