In recent weeks, a local story about a child who went missing from her home has been a topic of many news stories. Her town spent a week searching for her and I watched the story unfold with a heavy heart. An autopsy was conducted and results are still pending.

What is the correct etiquette for thanking people for all of their kindnesses after your child dies? Do we have to thank everyone individually? Is there a time frame in which we should thank people? What do we say? And when?

"How can we help?" is a question often asked of us. All people are different so what worked for us might not for someone else. But if you’re stuck wondering what to do, here are some things that we've found helpful during our tragic journey.

The one year anniversary of our daughter’s death is only 2 weeks away. We are stunned by this fact. It can’t possibly be that she has been gone this long and we feel worse today than we did when it happened.

I have seen some remarkable children since my daughter's death. Her 8 and 9 year old friends and classmates are a constant amazement to me in how they are able to process grief and move forward with positive thoughts and good, kind memories of things they did with their friend.

There is an assumption that when we ask this question of someone that they answer it as if their life is just fine. Now think of a person whose life has been turned upside down. Their child has died. How do they answer this?

It’s summer time and I watch my 6 year old learn to swim down to retrieve a diving bar. A simple task to some but for us, it is a monumental reminder that she can breathe and her 8 year old sister could not. It is a tribute to the strength of her sister who kept going even when it was so hard.

We can think of so many questions to ask ourselves why we didn’t do more to prevent our child’s death. We can very often ask these questions and blame ourselves for what has happened.

My surviving daughter has only known life with her big sister. Her big sister was her life’s buffer and safety net. Her big sister was a playmate, a confidante, a best friend, a late night bad dream soother. What must it be like for a surviving sibling? And how can we, her parents help her?

For anyone who’s lost a child, it is nearly impossible to fathom that life moves forward. It’s not plausible that daily routines and events can continue on without our son or daughter. But the world does move forward; it does continue on and inevitably we are faced with moving with it.