Loneliness and Friendship in High School

My son and his mainstream classmates were so fortunate to have
one another in high school - they had a similarly unsympathetic
principal, and policies with no exceptions. He got in to a bit of
trouble one day because a substitute teacher was 'showing a bad
attitude' toward his classmates with dark complexions. Apparently
when any of them joined the classroom discussion or raised a hand
to add to the discussion they were threatened with a trip to the
principal's office with a 'bad attitude' write up. When the top student
in the class tried to explain how classroom discussions evolved with
their regular teacher, the threat was carried out. My son stood up
and explained that the substitute had a bad attitude and should
get written up. When he told me about it after school (in detail) I
was wondering how close his story was to how it happened.
Fortunately a couple of his classmates were talking about it and I
discovered my son's version was very accurate. Apparently the story
of my son speaking up was the only thing that could comfort the
honor student who was sent out of the room. When I spoke to the
principal I was told that due to privacy issues the topic could not be
discussed (ahem) but the matter was resolved. Apparently the sub
refused to come back to the school. My son had not been sent out
of the classroom as his blue eyes saved him from the drastic response,
but one of his classmates said the sub did not seem to notice that he
had Down syndrome. And apparently his speech was perfectly clear.

That principal told me that there could not be a Circle of Friends club
at the school because another parent had said his classmates should
not have to take on any responsibility for him. I found out later it was
the mom of a student in special education who put the kibosh on it.
Parents of his mainstream classmates liked the idea - because of course
as our kids grew up together they knew it meant as much if not more
to them as it did to him.

I am happy to report that there are many instances when we are out and
about that strangers of all ages, and especially his same age mainstream
peers, have befriended my son after telling one or both of us that they
went to school with a wonderful friend who also had Down syndrome.
The world is cold for mainstream students, too, and they are very
fortunate to grow up in a time when they can grow up with the warmth,
compassion and humor of our rascals who have Down syndrome. It breaks
my heart when I hear of teens who feel so lonely and unnoticed that they
take their own lives without finding out that life can be better and does get
so much better after school. If only they had a way to express themselves,
to reach out and find how loved they are or should be. Every one of them
deserves a family like Tess and her sister, and friends like our kids.