The Valentines day holiday is a great opportunity for expressions of friendship between children. In some age groups, simply stating that 'You are my friend' makes it a fact. Modeling Valentine exchanges and helping a child practice short friendship exchanges at home with dolls, action figures or stuffed animals can be a big help.

For children who have communication delays or writing difficulties, small accommodations or support can make a world of difference in their ability to participate in classroom parties and Valentine activities.

Printing up address labels from your computer to stick on the back of classroom Valentines can be a fun way to get a message across to your child's classmates, their parents and others who may need something to 'break the ice' for a relationship with your child. No matter what challenges children face in printing or cursive writing, a simple message of friendship can be communicated easily via the printed label.

If you are not sure what message would be best, look at the front of the Valentine itself. Print the same message on the back, with your child's name printed after a dash or asterisk. Your child might like to include a small picture on the label, and could choose one of a pet or graphic showing an interest they have or character they admire.

Some Valentines include a small piece of candy, a pencil or eraser. Making two small parallel cuts and inserting a coin in each Valentine can cause quite a stir.

Hopefully, teachers will send home a class list with children's first names (and for duplicate names, surname initials) so that the envelopes can be personalized. Children do like to see their own names!

Checking with your child's teacher to see if any classmate has dietary restrictions, or writing a simple non-holiday decorated note of friendship for those who do not celebrate holidays, is a thoughtful way to include every child.

It can be a chore for a child to deliver addressed envelopes to every classmate, so check to see how much time is available for the exchange. Without help it can take too long to match the Valentine to each classmate, although some children enjoy this part more than opening what they have received themselves. This is not the time to snub or exclude any child who may have had a squabble or other disagreement - every child is fragile enough to remember being left out and none will understand why.

Many boxed Valentine sets include a special card for the teacher. Remember that your child might also like to present a card to therapy staff, lunch room helpers, librarians, nurses, classroom aides, office staff and the principal. It might be fun for them to make special Valentines for family members.

If your son or daughter has difficulty signing valentines, try making a template using a 3x5 card (or empty cereal box). You might find that they are highly motivated to sign each one, or that they have absolutely no interest at all. If their name is included in the mailing label, that's not a problem. They might prefer using a template to draw a heart, or just their first initial. Stickers and rubber stamps can also be used in artful expression.

Some children enjoy carrying an extra dozen valentines to give to a favorite grocery store clerk, librarian, or neighbor. This is a positive form of communication that works with people you might think are immune.

There may be local organizations or school staff who choose service projects for Valentine's Day in outreach to the elderly, displaced people, soldiers or their families. Our children learn inclusion and compassion for others by participating in these activities and can contribute a great deal to their communities while they are still growing up.

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