Guest Author - Pam Garlick

Earlier this year my mother and I took a vacation together. We had a great time, and made many memories. Still, there is one memory that sticks in my mind as Veterans’ Day approaches, that had nothing to do with my mother or me.

We’d decided to take our first plunge in the hotel pool. We’d forgone swimming the first two nights because the weekend party-like atmosphere was not exactly our thing. With the weekend over, the sounds coming from the pool were almost non-existent.

However, as we passed through the gate to the pool area we saw there were three men in the water, and another seated at the side of the pool. Two of the men in the water and the one on the side, were young, and clean cut. You would have expected them to be diving in and swimming, having a good time. Instead, their full attention was focused on the older man who was talking to them.

It was difficult to judge the age of that man as we passed him making our way to the opposite side of the pool. Yet, as he spoke I realize he was likely close to my age, maybe even older. Yes, he looked the part of the “old hippy,” as many might have referred to him. His long graying hair was pulled back in a tail. He was a generation older than his audience.

I didn’t plan on eavesdropping. It was difficult not to. The older man was so intent on his passionate statement to these young men, I doubt he even realized we were also there. Maybe he just didn’t care. What he said, he said because he had to.

It was a warning for three young men, I soon realized, who were soon to become military men. Or, maybe they were already serving. Perhaps it was their last leave before heading to serve, my guess would be in Iraq. Judging by the older man’s words, they were eager to do their duty.

“You really need to think about what you are doing,” the older man said in an impassioned plea, not condescending, more desperate. “You have no idea what it’s like. What it’s really like.”

“We have thought about it,” one of the young men, who seemed to be spokesmen for the group, replied respectfully.

“It changes you,” the man persisted, in a voice that hinted at the pain he still remembered. “You’re never the same again.”

My mother who is hard of hearing didn’t have a clue what these men were talking about, yet she picked up on the tension. She asked me about it, so we waded as far from the exchange as possible so I could explain we had intruded upon a very deeply personal discussion.

I could only watch as the older man, his expression sober, almost grim, accepted he wasn’t going to change the minds of those young men. He just made one more plea that they really think about what they were doing, then he waded to the side and got out of the water, leaving.

There was a part of me that couldn’t help but agree with that man. He was obviously talking about the Vietnam war. I was young and impressionable during those tumultuous times. But not too young to know so much of what he said was true. So many who served did not return the same. War changed them. I remembered some saying the ones who were good, quiet kids before they left for Vietnam, returned wild or troubled. The ones who were wild before leaving, came back quiet and withdrawn.

I have to give the young men credit, they showed nothing but respect to the older man. And there was indeed a shadow over them long after he had gone. He didn’t change their minds, but he did give them something to think about.

I respect those young men for doing what they felt was right. Just as I respected the older one for trying to spare them. After all, he was once just like them. Probably eager to do his duty for his country.

I’m not entering into a debate over the right or wrong of this war we’re in today. I am, however, offering a tribute to all those who serve this country, past, present and future. I thank you all.

I also ask any of you to set aside your feelings about the war we are involved in and remember the courageous men and women who are serving in the military, whatever branch, whatever country they were serving in. Remember these fine people not just on Veterans Day, but every day.

There is a site I will link to below, where people can choose a post card created by school students throughout the U.S., which will be sent to members of the military. You can pick the card and the message, but the person it is sent to is chosen randomly.

I will be doing more articles this week in honor of Veteran’s Day. These will be about families and their relationship with those who have served, or currently are, serving. I hope you’ll check back to read them.