Guest Author - Cassandra George Sturges
If you have asked yourself a thousand times, “How can I change my life,” you are not alone. Many psychologists, counselors, and spiritual teachers will tell you that if you change your thinking, you will change your life; but for many of us this is a very difficult thing to do. In order to change your life the very first thing you must do is look at your life and see what is working for you. Pay close attention to your natural allies. Who is attracted to you? Who is calling you back? Who is befriending you? What are you naturally good at?
The secret to changing your life is finding the areas in your life where positive energy is already effortlessly flowing. I have listened to many people complain to me about stores that do not carry their size, people who do not like them, and all of the things that they hate about their jobs-- they pay very little attention to the doors that are wide open waiting for them to walk in. In this article I will give you three simple ways to change your life for the better.
I have a girlfriend who constantly complains about not being able to find attractive clothes for plus size women. She believes that most fashion for plus size women looks matronly or reveals too much skin. She also complains that the plus size mannequins do not represent the average plus size woman who shops in the store. As a plus size woman myself, I see exactly what she is complaining about however, I do not focus my time, energy, or money in these stores.
My favorite store to shop for dresses is JC Penny who carries my favorite brand “American Living.” I love the dresses because they are very inexpensive, washable, and the fabric stretches. I tell everyone that I noticed that I wear a size 16 stretch. If the fabric does not give in the areas of the stomach, buttocks, and breasts; I know that it is not going to fit me so I don’t waste my time trying it on and complaining about the modeling industry or trying some fade diet. I have learned to accept what fits my body in a way that makes me feel attractive.
I wear a size 11 shoe. When I shop at DSW, I look for the neon green sticker that reads size 11. Chinese Laundry is a particular brand that has fashionable boots and shoes that are wide enough to fit my feet. I don’t torture myself by looking at any shoes or boots that are not my size. When I walk into new shoe stores the first question I ask the sales person is, “Do you carry a size 11?” If they say no, I don’t waste a single moment of my time telling them that I am going to write their corporate company and complain. I keep moving to look for stores who are looking for people like me.
I use to wear a size 7, but having children and menopause has doubled my size plus two. An ex-boyfriend once complained to me while I was eating my beloved hot wings and pizza that if I gained weight, he was going to break up with me because he is not attracted to fat women. At the time I wore a size 10. I lost 230 lbs the very next day—him. He had to go. I literally met the man of my dreams two weeks later and we have been together for almost 15 years. I wanted to be in a relationship with a man who loved my soul and would be attracted to me whether I was a size two or a size twenty.
Look at your life and take note of who appreciates, love, and respect you as you are, unconditionally. If you don’t like the models in a magazine don’t buy that magazine. Write stories for your children that express your morals and values. Spend more time doing activities that bring you joy whether it is baking cookies, planting flowers, or playing guitar. If you truly want to change your life focus your time and energy on the positive things in your life that you want to remain the same.
