Guest Author - Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen

This is a new discovery for me: women are generally, and literally, more in touch with their and other people's bodies, than men are. We get our periods, ovulate, get pregnant, and give birth. Men don't really notice their bodies the way we notice ours because our bodies function differently. Women are more likely to take care of the natural functions of kids (the contents of diapers, potty training, vomit, snot, blood, and whatever else oozes out of their bodies). Also, women are more likely to be nurses, home care givers, and be involved in professions that involve taking care of ill or elderly people.

This may be partly why women struggle more with body image than men do. We're simply more in touch with bodies in general! This, and those perpetually demeaning media images of slim beautiful perfect women on television, in magazines, and on the big screen. There's always that…

What exactly is body image?

The textbook definition is: body image is your inner perception of your physical appearance.

A more well-rounded definition: body image is how we perceive our bodies to fit (or not fit) the expectations of our culture and ourselves. It's all about what we "should" look like and how slim and beautiful we "should" be. We actually learn to be at war with our bodies, fighting them to be thin, flawless, smooth, unblemished, perfect. How often do women actually HATE their bodies? How many times have you looked in the mirror and cringed?

Body image is formed by the sum of our experiences with other people. Parents, teachers, siblings, spouses, children, family, friends – all can influence our body image with simply a look (not to mention comments about our weight or various body parts). It's affected by the pictures we see in magazines and on tv. We constantly compare ourselves to flawless models, and we come up short every time (and I mean that literally for me. I'm 5 feet tall!).

Go easy on yourself!

Take comfort in the fact that most women have a distorted image of their bodies. The comforting part is that most of us think we're heavier and uglier than we really are. We think we're less attractive and we focus on what we don't like about our bodies and selves. Other people don't see the flaws we see; they're usually less critical about our bodies than we are. They see the whole picture, not the stray hair or occasional zit.

If your friends or family focus on your flaws, then you may want to consider limiting the amount of time you spend with them. With friends like that, who needs enemies?

Change your perspective

In most situations, you can be yourself regardless of your weight! Let your personality, talents, and gifts shine through, and forget about whether you're a size 7 or size 16. Take life by the horns and wrestle it around until you get what you want!

Forget about your body image. Focus on making your dreams come true. That's where your energy should go.