Guest Author - Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen

“I feel like a monster and I can’t stand to be touched,” said a woman on Tyra’s show last week. “I can’t talk to my boyfriend, I can’t trust him, and I’m scared he’ll leave me.”

Tyra Banks recently focused on women with body dysmorphic disorder (BDD). “I look like a hideous monster” said one woman. “I won’t leave my house unless I absolutely have to,” said another. Those are common thoughts of women struggling with BDD, and nothing anyone says or does – not even Tyra Banks or her BDD specialist – has the power to change those opinions. BDD disrupts thought processes and self-perceptions, and only serious internal work can readjust how women view their bodies.

Tyra’s show revealed that women with BDD think other people judge them (and indeed sometimes people do judge them. Let’s face it, nasty and judgmental thoughts have crossed our minds now and then, perhaps more often than we’d care to admit). Three women struggling with BDD bravely appeared on Tyra’s show and admitted how they view their bodies; all three thought they were much heavier than they actually were. They were their own harshest critics, using words such as “gross”, “Frankenstein”, and “monster” to describe themselves.

Does this sound familiar to you – and not just because you watched the show?

If you think you look fat even though others tell you you’re slim or if you constantly tell yourself that you’re ugly, then you could have a distorted view of your appearance – also known as body dysmorphic disorder. Other symptoms of this serious illness include obsession with certain physical characteristics (particularly your hair, nose or skin), dissatisfaction with the results of plastic surgery, and uncontrollable negative thoughts about your body or personality.

You can’t stop thinking that you’re disfigured or ugly.

How do you know if you have BDD or you’re simply, healthily, aware of all aspects of your body, bad and good? According to the Mayo Clinic and MedicineNet.com, there are several behaviors that could indicate a serious mental disorder:

You may have BDD if you:
- Constantly compare your appearance with others
- Refuse to let your picture be taken, or are extremely self-conscious in photos
- Keep checking a certain body part that you think is flawed (eg, your nose or belly)
- Measure the flaw frequently
- Attempt to hide your flaws
- Feel anxious and self-conscious around other people
- Avoid leaving the house unless you absolutely have to
- Call yourself names, such as “hideous”, “ugly”, and “disgusting”
- Seek surgical enhancements, liposuction, rhinoplasty, etc.
- Aren’t happy with the surgery results, even becoming angry with the surgeon

People with BDD may quit their jobs and refuse to leave their homes. In extreme cases, they consider suicide.

What do you do if you think you have BDD?

Talk to a specialist – not necessarily your family doctor or GP. Find an eating disorders counselor, psychologist, or psychiatrist
Talk to your friends and family. Attempt to explain how you feel and think. Give them the chance to love you.
Treat yourself well. Get enough sleep, eat nutritiously, and exercise regularly
Learn how to direct your thoughts to something else when you starting thinking of yourself as fat or ugly
Realize that what you hear becomes your belief system. If you were told you’re fat and ugly, then you’ll grow to believe that – regardless of your appearance and weight

Tyra Banks’ BDD specialist encouraged viewers to value people based on who they are on the inside, not what they look like. Turn this inward: once you value who you are regardless of your skin, nose, weight, or hair – then everything else in your life has the chance to blossom.

“And then the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.” – Anais Nin.