Guest Author - Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen

Not only will role modeling self-acceptance and care for your body encourage girls in your life to do the same, it’ll help you develop more self-confidence.

Five ways to encourage a healthy body image are:

1. Research the techniques behind the images of perfection you see in magazines, on television and in the movies. Do this together; you’ll both learn the secrets behind the beauty trade! Discuss how perfect the models look, and how unnatural perfection is. Talk about the beauty in imperfection.

2. Appreciate beauty in all forms. There are so many personality strengths to value: humor, kindness, compassion, wit, sensitivity. Marvel about your physical abilities: jumping, running, swimming, moving your arms like a windmill or doing three cartwheels in a row! Highlight your intellectual attributes: solving problems, picking up on another’s thoughts or emotions, debating the pros and cons of an issue, seeing both sides of an argument.

3. Discuss her world. A fellow BellaOnline editor shared her thoughts about fairy tales in a recent Body Image forum (see the thread called “Promoting Healthy Body Image in Young Children”). If your girl reads fairy tales or plays with Barbies, talk about those stereotypes. Fairy tales often portray women as beautiful but in need of rescue, and Barbie has impossible measurements (perhaps that has changed?). Encourage strong female role models, such as Xena the Warrior Princess.

4. Enjoy a fit, healthy lifestyle. Cultivate all aspects of your own mind, body, soul – and strive for emotional, spiritual and mental health. Poke around in all areas of life, such as travel, hobbies, community events, volunteering, spending time with people not in your normal circle. Take big and little risks, and look for the good in everything. Participate in regular exercise – whatever that means to you. Eat nutritiously; allow yourself to occasionally indulge in your favorite sweets or savories. She’ll learn more from your life than your words.

5. Accept and celebrate yourself! Learn to sincerely love your whole self, warts and all. If you wish your thighs were thinner, don’t force yourself to feel differently. Accept your feelings. If you tend to overreact about small things, just practice knowing and accepting that about yourself. Your feelings, desires, quirks, weaknesses, strengths all combine to form your whole self, which is valuable, real, and good. The world is hard enough on you; don’t add yourself to the list of adversaries by criticizing your self.

Try not to:

1. Criticize your own body or weight. I recently heard of a woman who was told she looked exactly like her mother. Her mother consistently called herself ugly, fat, and stupid – so the woman grew up feeling ugly, fat and stupid.

2. Criticize other women. Some women like to dress well even if they’re going to the store for milk, or have their nails manicured every week, or work out every day. Others feel comfortable wearing big, baggy clothes and not focusing on their appearance. We’re all different; role modeling acceptance of others will nurture self-acceptance.

3.Abuse yourself. Self-abuse includes eating too much, starving yourself, not getting enough sleep, taking on too many commitments, not delegating responsibilities, not knowing how to say “no”, and trying to control every last detail.

Do you remember the role models of your childhood – or even your current life? Transfer the good and the beautiful to the girl in your life, who may in turn pass it to the people in her life.

Next week's article: Does Your Son – or a Man You Know – Struggle With His Body Image?