Guest Author - Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen

The note read, “You are Lisa Simpson.” It was from a visiting teacher who helped her discover – and be content with – who she was. Those four words strike a chord with me, and I’m not sure why. Maybe it’s because those written words validated Lisa in a way no spoken word could. Maybe it’s because I want to be authentically me like Lisa is authentically herself, and this phrase seems to offer that freedom. “You are Laurie Pawlik.” (I first saw this episode before I was married). I’m not my weight, my moles, my varicose veins, my degrees…I am ME!

What makes me me and you you is definitely more than our weight. Yes, your physical body is part of who you are. It takes you from here to there, heals itself from illness, gives you pleasure, allows you to have adventures in travel and exciting moments like roller coasters and white water rafting trips, and lets you savor chocolate.

But your weight and shape is not who you are.

Your Intellectual Self. You have a mind that is constantly processing information and learning new skills. You read, write, work, plan, daydream, analyze, communicate, ponder, invent, produce, instruct, drive a car, plant a garden, devise a schedule, command your body, on and on – the marvels of your brain are endless. You are smart and insightful (or you wouldn’t know how to use a computer, or be seeking wellness here). Your brain is a gift, and a big part of your whole self. Don’t take it for granted.

Your Professional Self. How you spend your days – whether you’re earning $90,000 a year, volunteering at the food bank, or working at home – is part of who you are. Hopefully, your values and goals are revealed in your day: if you’re a stay at home mom, you may value family and close relationships. If you’re striving for your third promotion in two years, you may value achievement and success. If you’re earning a degree or diploma, you may value education and learning. The activities in your day reveal and shape your whole self.

Your Social Self. Friends, colleagues, neighbors, acquaintances, peers, family…your self should be revealed as you interact with these people. Your conversations, social activities, dinner parties, brief interactions in the grocery store or elevator – they all show a little more of your personality. Maybe you can easily talk with strangers, or maybe you have difficulty opening up to even your closest friends. Maybe you’re out every night, or maybe you visit with your best friend once every week or so. The specifics don’t matter; what matters is that your social self is part of your whole self.

Your Personality. Maybe you have a dry sense of humor or maybe you laugh all the time. Maybe you’re outgoing or shy. Maybe you love to be outdoors, or inside with a good book. Maybe you love the centre of attention; maybe you avoid it. Maybe you’re in bed by 9 pm and up at dawn, or maybe you’re just getting going at 9 pm, and wake up at noon. There is no quality that is intrinsically good or bad; your personality is a huge part of who you are and what makes you unique.

Your Spiritual Self. Your spirit is the natural inner energy that guides you. It develops and grows – but only if you nurture and protect it through prayer, meditation, reading writing, a walk by the river, or your own personal method of interacting with your deepest self. Your spirit can lead you to a fulfilling life, and is interconnected with the spirits of others. A “kindred spirit” is someone you feel you’ve known forever, even if you’ve just met. Hang on to them, for they don’t come around often.

These aspects of your self are much more important and valuable than your weight. When you look in the mirror, see your intellect, personality, spirit and soul – not just numbers on the scale.