Guest Author - Linda Steele
For the past few weeks I have had a weird feeling in the pit of my stomach. My thoughts have been scattered. Am I having a mid-life crisis? Am I on track with my life goals? Am I comfortable in my own skin?
Being comfortable in your own skin means that you are satisfied with all aspects of yourself not just your appearance. True satisfaction reflect in your ability to cope with whatever challenges life has for you and ultimately lead to higher self-esteem.
Itís natural to reflect on your life as you get older, especially at milestone ages. I just had a birthday a few weeks ago and turning 45 is definitely a milestone.
I have certainly not had an easy life. Looking back over my twenties and even early thirties, I can certainly say it has been quite a ride, full of ups and downs. When you are in the down part of your life, it can damage your self esteem. The problem when you have low self esteem is that you have a hard time digging yourself out. You attract experiences to enhance your low self esteem. Until you can change the negative self-talk to the positive, your experiences will be mirrored in the outside world, further confirming your negative beliefs.
During my early twenties and early thirties, I went from one job to another experimenting with different careers never fully being satisfied. I donít look back on those years as the most fun of times. Sure there were good times occasionally, but the anguish caused by the miserable times forced me to seek out answers to big the questions.
If I didnít suffer the pain, I wouldnít have gone looking for answers. You need the Yin in order to see the contrast and thus fully experience the Yang. Iím glad to have gone through that period for the growth it provided for me as a person, but I wouldnít want to go back there again.
From my mid-thirties until now, I have seen a huge contrast. My life went from not-so-good to good, to great to fantastic. Itís funny how when you make the conscious effort to change your life, things start to happen and people start to notice.
So how do you change your life? The answer is simple Ė you need to experience it. Your purpose is to find things that make you happy and that you are passionate about. You wonít know what these things are by spending your time wondering or reading about it. Iíve read a lot of self-improvement books in the past 15 years, and reading about topic is never enough, you need to live it. This is why the first thirty something years of my life were so important. I needed to be lost in order to be capable of understanding what it feels like to find a purpose.
From my early thirties to today, I achieved many milestones. I bought and sold my first house and have continued buying rental properties. I successfully started and sold my massage practice. Iím now semi-retired working part-time writing and teaching classes for six months of the year. The other six months, I travel the world.
It was during these years that I have refined my attitude. Your attitude is the key to everything. As human beings, we have the power to adjust our attitude and perception of what every moment or every event in our life means. By understanding and employing this, then nothing in your life can have a negative impact on you unless you want it to.
Change is inevitable. We are constantly evolving. Growing comes from seeing what is possible by watching others make the impossible a reality. When you see someone achieve something, then you know it is possible for you too. Thatís why it is so important to participate in life, find your joys and passions and find people who are already doing what you want to do.
My journey is continuing. Iím enjoying who Iím am right now but I know that I am in a state of change. My experiences, challenges, accomplishments and seeing what is possible from others and saying ďhey maybe I would like to try that tooĒ, is changing my course, causing a few butterflies but ultimately Iím living my life. Iím comfortable in my own skin. How about you?