Guest Author - Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen

It's all about who you are – not who you look like.

What is inner beauty?
A woman with inner beauty is empathetic, which means she puts herself in others' shoes. When people feel pain or joy, she feels it too – or at least she tries to. She's compassionate, and open to other people. She's friendly and sincere, authentic and approachable.

You may already radiate this empathy, compassion, and authenticity. You're not a woman who brushes off the idea of inner beauty – you're reading this article, which means you're interested in the notion. You know beauty goes further and deeper than skin, weight, hair, and shape.

Inner beauty is communicated both unconsciously and consciously; maybe it's even communicated subconsciously, too. It reveals itself when you feel happy, peaceful, rested, and comfortable. Think of a woman who's angry or bitter: what is resonating from her soul? How does that make you feel? Then think of a peaceful, calm woman: how do you feel when you're with her – what is resonating from her pores?

Inner beauty brings out the best in other people. It highlights their strengths, victories, joys, and successes. It makes them feel good to be alive – and happy to be in your company.

Inner beauty doesn't fade away or go gray.

How do you get it?

1. Focus on what you do well. Who cares if you can't – or don't want to – run a half marathon, paint gorgeous watercolors, or decorate like Martha Stewart? Give yourself a pat on the back for doing that thing that makes you a good friend, partner, or mother. Did tell a store clerk, "Thanks – have a great day!" – and mean it? Good for you! When you do something really well at work or take responsibility for making a mistake, toot your own horn to those in your inner circle of family and friends. Encourage them to do the same.

If you don't know what your strengths and talents are, do a little investigatory work. If you can't think of a single thing you do well, start retraining your brain. Read books about finding yourself and self-improvement, and don't be afraid to be honest. Okay: be afraid, but do it anyway.

2. Put yourself in others' shoes. To develop compassion and empathy, make eye contact with people on the street begging for money. Talk to them – even if you say, "Sorry, I don't have any change." Imagine that you are them: you are pushing a cart, you sleep outside, you beg strangers for a quarter. How do you feel?

3. Shine the spotlight on other people. Instead of talking about your horrible day or stressful moments, encourage others to share a bit of themselves with you. Ask how they're doing, and stop to listen to their answers.

Your inner beauty will radiate out of you and illuminate the faces of others…if you know how to cultivate and nurture it!