Guest Author - Cassandra George Sturges
High self-esteem is one of those concepts that society expects others to develop through osmosis. We mainly recognize it when it’s missing, but fail to celebrate it when it’s present. The first step to developing positive self-esteem is to learn how to spend quality time with yourself. How can you love, honor, and respect someone that you barely even know? As children we are taught that something is wrong with us if we want to spend time alone away from our family, friends, and the media. It is very difficult to learn how to love yourself when the lens of self-reflection has been clouded by the views of other people.
Activities to Improve Self-esteem
You are only allowed 5 minutes a week to think negatively about yourself. You must pick the same time each week. You are allowed to criticize your perceived flaws, stretch marks, cellulite, pimples, etc… for 5 minutes a week. Immediately following this exercise for 10 minutes you must list things about yourself that you admire. All of the other times during the week vow to only focus your thoughts on the things about yourself that you love. Every 3 months reduce the time for negative criticism down by 30 seconds until you no longer need the time. The reason that it is important to give your critical voice a platform is because you don’t want it to sabotage you subconsciously where you have little control. Bring it to light so that you can recognize it and develop cognitive tools to dissipate it.
Learn how to do nothing without feeling guilty. Walk barefoot in the grass or simply stand in the grass and let it tickle your toes. Take a deep breath and imagine a beautiful golden yellow sun glowing an arm’s length around your entire body penetrating every cell of your body for 3-5 minutes. Pretend that every concern that you have drains from your body into the earth and is transformed into positive energy. Find a tree and sit under it. Think about nothing all. This is a refreshingly magical way to rejuvenate your spirit and increase your self- esteem.
Find a sacred time to relax for at least 30 minutes a day. The magical hour for me is anywhere from 4 AM to 5:30 AM in the wee hours of the morning. No one in my home is stirring about and my world feels quiet. This is the only time in the day that I feel completely connected to myself, my own thoughts and beliefs before the waking world rushes in. When I wake up during this time, no matter how hard I try, I cannot screw up my day. When I wake up during this time, I create my day. I seem to effortlessly check items off of my to-do list.
When I wake up after this time, I jump into the day that society has created for me without my soul’s permission. My thoughts are jumbled with external expectations and demands. I don’t focus on who I am and what I want; instead I focus on how society has defined me, where society has placed me, and how fast can I get there.
People are typically offended when you tell them “no”for any reason. No is the most powerful word of a person with high self-esteem. Unfortunately, society directly or indirectly punishes those who use this word. Commit yourself to the people and activities that you love to do. Say yes to things that you truly love. Within a few weeks you will begin to feel better about your life and will feel a significant boost in your self-esteem.
